Hello brave and compact souls. Are you ready for this? I’m about to tear ISFJs a new asshole. Why, you ask. They are such nice, harmless, and inoffensive souls. O, have you been duped, I mean really duped. Yes, that is what they want you to think. And the moment you are thinking that they have you right where they want you.
Okay, here’s the thing. The ISFJ is the most apparently nice of all types. They are like Mr. and Mrs. Doormat. They roll out the red carpet for you, that same carpet that is like the proverbial rope they are handing you to hang yourself with. Mr. and Mrs. Kind Nurse, just running around for you if they love you and getting you things you need like a nice hot cup of suit or a vine to climb to heaven on. However, be sure of this. Anytime an ISFJ is being nice to you, put yourself on red alert, there are strings being attached to you as we speak. And these aren’t the kind of strings that are easy to sever once attached. They bind to you at a root level and in order to get them out you have to dig up your own roots.
But, how did all this come to be? How did these sweet and nice people get like this? For the answer, we must pay a visit to Mr. Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher who knew a lot about the true origins of morality and wrote a wonderful book to sum up this knowledge called The Genealogy of Morals. In this lovely book he asks the question, “Where did the term ‘evil’ come from?” Being a philologist by profession, he studied the etymology (origins) of language. He realized that before the term “good” was put on the opposite end of the pole to the term “evil”, there was merely the opposition of the term “good” with the term “bad.” Basically, in the times of what Nietzsche calls the master morality- the nobles of the world, the aristocrats, the rulers- the opposition of the words “good” and “bad” were defined from their view point. They were what was “good” and anything that was common or low in rank or stature was bad. In other words, strength was the order of the day.
But, apparently, during the reign of the bloodthirsty beasts of the noble age, there was lurking a creature, a consciousness that was building up an extreme of hatred at the deeds and mistreatments of these insensitive and brutish masters of the world. According to Nietzsche, there had never existed anything like this on the face of the earth before, a creature that was capable of holding resentment. And not just impotent resentment, but the kind of resentment that can create new values. And so this is just what happened in what Nietzsche terms the slave revolt in morality carried out by the Jewish people in the creation of Christianity. This slave revolt was so successful in completely inverting the value equations of the noble age, that now the last would be first, the lamb would triumph over the lion, and the meek would inherit the earth and so on.
And do you know who was nice enough to carry out this slave revolt in morality for the benefit of all the sensitive and impotent creatures of the world, the ISFJ, that is who. In abstract of course. What I’m saying is they were the dominant type consciousness behind this revolution and it is their particular genius that is responsible for this, which happens to be the very same genius of the Jewish race.
The ISFJ is the cleverest and subtlest of all the sensation types. They belong to the class of SJ types, one of four classes created Myers-Briggs typologist, David Kiersey. In this class we have the aforementioned ISFJ type, the ISTJ, the ESFJ, and the ESTJ. These are the salt of the earth types, the backbone of any society, the maintainers of the constructed world, the preservers, the status quo, the common. The ISFJ is the member of this class that really qualifies as the genius of this class. They are like savvy maids. They are doing all the dirty work, putting up with all kinds of muck and dirt from all those die-hard rulers and executives, putting up with the extravagances of their egos and dirty boots slung up on the desk. Patiently they watch and wait. Well, they don’t have to do this anymore. The world is their oyster in this Christian age. Yes, god may be dead to many of the modern world, but that is just how they like it. The ISFJs didn’t want the god in the spiritual world anyway. They just wanted the appearance of it and the belief in it. And they have such a knack for the popular imagination, they do. That is part of their genius, you know. They know what the public are feeling and thinking, they know what their hopes and dreams are. And so at this turning point of history where enough resentment had built up against the brutes and their cruelty, the ISFJ type were effective in turning the tides against them in creating, or at least, popularizing Christian values. These values were new and it inspired the public imagination. You mean, I don’t have to put up with these nobles and their whims. They replaced the term “bad” on the axis of good/bad that the nobles had created and replaced the term “bad” with the term “evil”, so that now the opposite of “good” is “evil.” To be evil is to be damned in the eyes of the Christian god, to be doomed to an eternity in hell after you die. The nobles are evil in the eyes of this Christian god and will burn in hell after they die while the meek, the soft, the lamblike will go to heaven. And it worked.
Now, understand ISFJs don’t necessarily care about going to Heaven or trading this world for another promised one after death. So, this whole thing really works out to their total advantage both ways. The nobles are deposed but the common people, the public, better watch themselves and not sin because they are only suspended by a thin cord over the pits of hell by the grace of god.
Have you ever noticed that ISFJs are some of the most guilt-free and untroubled of types? They aren’t concerned about sinning in the eyes of god. They are concerned about the people that they love and have great feeling for suffering from mortal miseries. They are concerned about the earth and all the bad things that they know can happen. Getting rid of those nobles was their big task in history as a collective type. So, now the world is pretty safe (in America). No arbitrary whims of these arrogant and uncaring master moralities. All the masters have been killed off. They still exist as a temperament and a type, but they are out of their power. And do you know who had so kindly filled in their space. Yes, ISFJs.
And do you know how ISFJs rule? Well, in the exact opposite manner to the lordly masters; quietly, surreptitiously, softly, unapparently, behind other more obvious and upfront personalities. With a lack of ego or bombast. Very smart they are. They rule at the root.
Now, of course we not must make any pretense that this rule by the ISFJs is noble. Though since the inversion of values that occurred in the wake of Christianity, noble has been redefined to mean things like being helpful, charity, the show of kindness to fellow men, and such things. But, the term noble had a different meaning prior to this. It was similar to how a lion is considered a noble creature. But, are lions nice?
Let’s talk a little about the way ISFJs rule. You know that little place called Hollywood? Well, that was pretty much created by ISFJs. Now, mind you, they are not the out- front types in the place called Hollywood because as I said they are the silent rulers. But, what is Hollywood? It is a place where dreams come true. It is a place of sold illusions. It is a place that makes people feel good about themselves by pandering to their tastes and dreams. Do you know who one of the most powerful moguls in Hollywood was in the earlier days of its reign? No, you probably don’t because he didn’t want to be known but he was behind a lot of the magic of Hollywood and the mentality and morality of it. If you want to find out a bit more about this I’ll tell you his name. Lew Wasserman. Look him up. There is a recent biopic out on him now. It will tell you a lot about the ISFJ mentality. Learn how powerful this guy was from some office in Hollywood. He never wrote anything down because he didn’t want anything he did to come back and bite him in the ass. His influence helped get Ronald Reagan in office. Bill Clinton called this guy and he was like, “Oh, it’s Clinton again. Oh, alright, I’ll take the call.”
And this is just one example of an ISFJ. They are all over Hollywood. They are the people who write on a lot of the sitcoms, the people you might never hear of. ISFJs are usually not the stars that you see in the movies. They are more the silent backbone of the entertainment industry. It is not about them. Well, that is what they want you to think. As long as they have the money, you can take the stardom. ISFJs are often the talent agents behind stars. They are really good at it. They know what people want and they know what will sell. Showbiz. It’s the ISFJ domain par excellence. And I’m not saying they are bad people or anything. They really believe in what they do. They want people to be happy. They want people to be entertained. But, the reality is that they have not the slightest awareness of spiritual values. And they are dangerous because they can give you such enticing forms of apparent spiritual value, but when you scratch the surface a bit, you will see that it is just an empty illusion.
Now, I am generalizing a bit here. But, I expect you to be able to read between the lines a little bit to see what I am driving at in general. On a case by case basis, any given person of this type is not necessarily all of these things I have mentioned. Maybe some ISFJ are true believers in spiritual values (intuitive values) but it is necessary when painting a portrait of a type to give the picture that I have formed and this is pretty much it from my point-of-view.
Onwards. Okay, so ISFJs are responsible for Christian morality and Hollywood. Well, since we’re on the subject of Hollywood, let’s not leave out that most magical of all kingdoms. Disneyland was created from scratch by Mr. Walt Disney, an ISFJ (not an ENTP as I have seen attributed before). I don’t have to tell you how powerful Disney characters, films, and morals are in the popular imagination, do I? Take my word for it. The Disney brand is an ISFJ type creation and it is all to make people happy, especially those most magical and innocent of creatures, children. Ask yourself this. Would Disney be so powerful in noble times of the masters?
I’ll drop a few names of some ISFJs and let you do the math. Anyone know who David Geffen is? Some people might know his last name from Geffen records. Look this guy up to see how much power he has in the music business, extending into bigtime political influence. Similar to David Wasserman in these respects. And though you might not know it if you see this guy in an interview, he is not a guy you would want to have as an enemy. There is a biopic out on him now too and it is very educative to see the way he nurtured and coddled musical talent starting back in the 60’s. He was the proverbial Jewish mother, letting his charges into his personal life, making sure everyone of their needs was provided for, and basically going way out of his way to make sure they became so dependent on him that they couldn’t survive without him. But, when it came time to do business, negotiate contracts and the like, this guy surprised everyone, because he did not mess around, nor let himself be pushed around. And he did it all with the nice guy image, the mother hen image.
And that is the thing. ISFJs are exactly like mothers in their modus operandi. They care deeply for their children, the ones that are their own. But, watch out if you try to attack their children in some way. That is when that soft and apparently mild-mannered mother will be stronger and deadlier than any lazy and entitled lion. ISFJs work hard too. They might appear relaxed and indifferent to the way things are going but that is all part of their image. They have a crab’s clutch on the things that they want and they come at you sideways just like a crab too.
The same thing is true if one of her children decide they don’t need her anymore. Watch that tender and infinitely attentive mother turn cold as stone and all that former affection drain away in an instant. ISFJs expect you to belong to them and they expect you to do what they say in that soft-offhand manner that they often propose things. Watch for the guilt trip. Watch for all these silent and deadly feeling things coming up your roots. Oh, you didn’t know that they were there that whole time did you. You forgot. The ISFJ will issue you a gentle reminder. Do not expect any dramatic scenes or violent rows from an ISFJ. Their power lies in their quiet and patient insistence.
ISFJs are some of the most smartest and clever people around, though you might not immediately clue on to this because this is often not the leading impression you get from them. The first thing you see is some form of feeling values openly displayed. You get the impression of a benign and gentle person, not in the least bit threatening. ISFJs use this impression to their advantage because they rely on taking people and getting what they want from a sideways approach. To come out directly to the point is not to their advantage. But, they are all the more effective because they do this. They are interested in getting in at a root level, away from immediate detection. Can’t you see them massaging your roots so lovingly? You basically cannot see an ISFJ, that is the thing. INFJs are capable of a similar thing, however, they will not lie to themselves.
Remember, what I said about ISFJs not usually being into spiritual values. What are spiritual values? They are intuitive values, which means dealing with the true nature of things rather than just the apparent nature. Well, INFJs are very aware of the true nature of the way things are going down. ISFJs, on the other hand, will be canny enough to just barely see the often harsh truth of reality, just as they could so readily see the truth of those terrible masters of the world, the ones that used rape and murder as playthings. They will see it and acknowledge it as true, but then they will perform a magical trick, they will instruct themselves on some level to forget what they have just seen and to put on a smile and be happy and make happy. They will create a land of dreams in its place, a happy place that you can believe in, and aspire to. Disneyland. Hollywood. These are the things that earth life is really about. You can watch violence on the big screen or on the T.V. but that is just make believe. ISFJs don’t really believe in truth. What they want is to make people happy and to be materially comfortable. They hate to see people suffer and the thought of anyone they love suffering drives them mad. But, they have to push it all away. They give you fantasies to replace the hardness of reality. They give you Hollywood, Disneyland, and your television sitcoms that you can watch when you come home from a hard day’s work. They attach at the roots and keep out the hard truth. But, in the far corners of their mind they remember those murderers and those rapists of the age of the master morality and then quickly dim it down. They don’t feel self-righteous about it but more neutral. They were the murderers of the noble way of life.
Note:
In the foregoing I am not making any ultimate judgment on the ISFJ type. I am merely describing the type as I see it in the context of history. It may sound like I am saying they are bad or something because I said they are responsible as a historical type for destroying noble values and replacing them with softer and more tepid ones. However, I see all of history as a process and an evolution in which changes in paradigms can be attributed to the fall of one type and the ascendancy of another. It is not right or wrong or good or bad. It just is. Of course I have my preferences as an individual and of course I will have my own slant on these matters. And it could be that I am wildly in error. If you are offended by any of the foregoing, stop a minute, and realize that this is not a condemnation of anyone or any type. I am simply interested in the truth as it presents itself to me and I strive not to destroy the root impulse that drove me to write this article in the first place. This article is intended more as a starting point than a final word on this subject. I expect and hope that people will do their own research on the matters I suggested and not either agree or disagree to what I have said without doing some questioning of your own. This article is written to encourage people to think for themselves and not as something to parrot or parade as some instance of right or wrong. I know quite a few people of the ISFJ type and this is my take on them. It is also my belief that many of them wouldn’t be offended by what I am saying because I believe they are more or less aware of how they operate and why. ISFJs are not a type that it dumb to their own motives. They often know exactly what they are doing and why. I am very impressed with this type in its ability to carry out what it intends to do. I don’t necessarily agree with the things that they choose to do in many instances. But, I can’t fault them for their lack of talent, intelligence, savviness,
Any given instance of this type may or may not reinforce all of what I have just said because I was striving for a very general picture and impression of this type from all the collected examples of this type and asking myself, the predominant impression that was painted to my mind. I like ISFJs. I am not siding with the noble or the slave morality. They both have their merits.
Another well written and insightful article!
You mention interpreting history as the rise and fall of different personality types as evidenced by changing world paradigms. I have long thought along similar lines and would be interested to know if you have further delineations between eras of a certain type dominance that you could share? More specifically, where you see one type particularly impacting historical collective human thought processes, which types you see represented in the world today, and the types/functions that have yet to be incorporated into our worldly paradigms and what you see this entailing for future human evolution.
Thanks for humoring me and hopefully fueling both our imaginations…
Thanks for the kind words RB.
I do see certain temperaments rising and falling along the lines of history. Not only do individual people show personality types but so do whole civilizations and cultures. I will be talking more about this as I develop this site. I mostly write about ideas as they come to me and so I don’t have a particular agenda to write about the historical context of types, though I am certainly open and interested in it if i feel it will give a better insight and understanding into a particular type’s modus operandi. In this particular article, for example, I associate the ISFJ temperament with the qualities of Jewishness because that is honestly what I see in this type over long observation and I like to go with the initial guiding thrust of my perceptions.
To more specifically answer your question, I do see where one type can impact “historical collective human thought processes.” For example, I think ancient Greek culture via Athens was dominated by the introverted intuitive type, and since this culture was the beginning of the Western world, it is interesting because introverted intuitives have not been prominent collectively in the West since the decline of that culture. Russian culture is another instance of the dominance of the introverted intuitive type but Russia is not an instance of the Western world, but rather the perfect meeting place between that world and the Eastern world. Communism, for example, seems to be an Eastern concept.
However, to be more accurate, I see the introverted feeling function as summing up Eastern thought and the introverted thinking function as summing up Western thought. So, even though I see Greece as having been dominated by introverted intuitives, what they really gave birth to as a general product of their culture was the introverted thinking function and it is introverted thinking that is really the ideal of the Western world.
So, to answer your last question regarding what types/functions have yet to be incorporated into our worldly paradigms, I would say that it is the introverted intuitive function that has yet to be incorporated in the Western world as an ideal that supersedes introverted thinking, as the latter function becomes increasingly exhausted in the drive towards objective scientific and technological discovery. I think we are seeing that now in quantum physics as scientists begin to realize that absoluteness and certainty cannot be maintained when you break apart atoms into their constituent parts. What you see is an irrational and somewhat random universe. This drive towards scientific certainty and the rise of materialistic science in the 20th century leading to the computer age and the age of information was definitely the rise of the INTP type in the collective culture. And to this day they still dominate in this technological age where so much is dependent on computers to function.
However, much of this proliferation of faster and more complex computers has been driven by the ability to radically increase the number of transistors that can be put on a computer chip. I see this ability tapering off in the upcoming years. So, computers will be somewhat faster than they are now. I see a move from the age of information into the age of creative ideation.
Basically, we have seen the peak of the introverted thinking function more or less in the last century and now we are just incrementally pushing the boundaries of it a little farther forward with each passing year. However, this will likely reach a definite end sooner rather than later. Since everyone in the first world nations more or less has all the information they could want or know what to do with at their fingertips and fast computers with which to access it, the value will move from the information class to the creative class, that is, the people that can come up with new ideas in science and art. Typically, throughout history these are the very type of people that have had a tough time getting their ideas through because they were seen as conflicting with the current paradigm, and in science’s case, there has been a rigorous scientific method to follow in order to objectively validate the idea being proposed.
I see science becoming less materialistic and more open to metaphysical inquiry as it becomes increasingly exhausted and incomprehensible following its current methods, one of which is math-driven physics, rather than the more classical way of using math in physics, which was to prove a result, not as a way to attain a result. There are only four known forces in physics and there hasn’t been a new force discovered for quite some time.
So, in short I see the introverted intuitive function coming in to replace introverted thinking in the near future. I can see science handing the torch over to introverted intuition for example. That would mean a different scientific method and different methods for attaining results.
What this might mean for future evolution? Well, we might find a way to rationalize Pi and then who knows, this could result in the development of light engines that make interstellar space travel a real possibility. I also see breakthroughs in the realm of consciousness on a widespread scale.
You have to keep in mind that even though I have said Greece, for example, was dominated by introverted intuitive types, that I am not saying that Greece held introverted intuition as an ideal or as a product. There is a difference. I don’t think we have ever in Western culture seen the rise of the introverted intuitive ideal on a wide-scale. And since it seems to me that the whole point of the West was to create the introverted thinking ideal, beginning in ancient Greece, we might be seeing a new culture based on the introverted intuitive function as the Western ideal of introverted thinking enters its decadent decline (and already has in my opinion) to give way to a new science of the irrational. However, this irrationality should be seen as a building upon introverted thinking objectives and ideals and not as a refutation of them.
I just returned to this article today for the first time in a long time… It’s so profound how you are able to discern the deeper truth about people, about how they are functioning deep within.
My grandma was an ISFJ, and she was just like this. If I didn’t visit her frequently enough, she could say the most cruel things with the sweetest voice, in an offhand way. You’ll be left reeling, like, “Did she really just say that?!” You can’t even respond because it doesn’t feel like an insult, but you KNOW it was. She was very pleasantly unpleasant at times. She would also drive you like a slave to get things done, and they had to be done just. so. But it was hard to resist because she would “ask” so sweetly.
I have a roommate who I’ve discovered to be an ISFJ, but it’s taken several months to settle on it. He has the intelligence of an Ne Dom, sort of, like he created this mathmatic model that delineated different structures to corresponding formulas or some such black magic, and it was all original. He has a very interesting reservoir of knowledge, too, though now I recognize he is incapable of integrating it (ie not an intuitive). I think he’s definitely a very smart ISFJ and perhaps these are outlets for his inferior Ne. I’d say he’s 3w2, or maybe 2w3 on enneagram so he really develops his skills to impress others.
He does all this stuff you mentioned here, like buying stuff for you and being extremely thoughtful… I was wary of it from the start because I knew I was not interested in reciprocating that level of focus on him, but he would just insist… Funny thing is if you offered him something he would almost be offended… He was attaching strings, hehe, and if I immediately reciprocated it would balance the scales of power out of his favor.
And the guilt trips, God they’re so annoying. He will say a bunch of stuff that obviously applies to you but will never directly implicate you. I wanna just call him on it but that would immediately make me the bad guy. He’s just trying to be ‘nice’, after all.
This part really spoke to me:
“Can’t you see them massaging your roots so lovingly? You basically cannot see an ISFJ, that is the thing. INFJs are capable of a similar thing, however, they will not lie to themselves.”
I’m an INFJ, and I can feel when I’m manipulating someone… As a type 4 though it’s usu. me pretending to be so screwed up that you can’t help but take it easy on me. It doesn’t feel like pretending, though as I’ve become more self-aware I realize that I know what I’m doing here, and I’m far more capable and powerful than I usually let on. Is this what you meant by the INFJ being capable of something similar?
INFJs are capable of something similar because they have the same auxiliary, tertiary, id functions. Having a Fe-Ti auxiliary/tertiary axis is very subtle and mazing. But, INFJs being Ni dominant basically cannot lie to themselves. So, they may manipulate other people, but, they won’t blind themselves to the truth of situations such as I said in this article that ISFJs did en masse in order to bring about a complete inversion of values such that what is weak by nature is now called strong and what is strong is “evil”. Read Nietzsche’s, Genealogy of Morals, to understand this thing that he is talking about that I would call an ISFJ thing. INFJs, on the other hand, would feel a similar sensitivity to the cruelty of the beasts and masters of the world but instead of calling it by another name, would do something similar to what the Greeks did in the creation of the god Dionysus to represent all that is cruel and seemingly unfair in nature. Read Nietzsche’s, The Birth of Tragedy, to get a better feel for this. That latter is a more INFJ response to the whole matter. It involves creation of a new value but not a distortion of it. Rather, actually, a celebration of it and a way to honor it.
“My grandma was an ISFJ, and she was just like this. If I didn’t visit her frequently enough, she could say the most cruel things with the sweetest voice, in an offhand way. You’ll be left reeling, like, “Did she really just say that?!” You can’t even respond because it doesn’t feel like an insult, but you KNOW it was. She was very pleasantly unpleasant at times. She would also drive you like a slave to get things done, and they had to be done just. so. But it was hard to resist because she would “ask” so sweetly.”
Ugh. You have reminded me that unfortunately I HATE this about some ISFJs… I have a mother in law who can be so insulting at times:( It feels unhealthy and it’s not as easy as cutting the ties when you can’t. 🙁 I am stuck with this for years to come.
“Funny thing is if you offered him something he would almost be offended… ”
Ugh I know this shit. My mother in law wins the medal as the worst gift receiver in the world. Everyone offends her. What she doesn’t understand is that she really wants to gift herself via others. She wants people to be like “what do YOU want” and can I come with you to pick it.
You do all she wants. Then later she sulks and returns the damm thing. I hate this shit and can only think of the word SHIT to describe it.
“to bring about a complete inversion of values such that what is weak by nature is now called strong and what is strong is “evil”.”
Blake, you don’t need more compliments….
however, you are pretty deep.
Blake,
“But, INFJs being Ni dominant basically cannot lie to themselves. So, they may manipulate other people, but, they won’t blind themselves to the truth of situations such as I said in this article that ISFJs did en masse in order to bring about a complete inversion of values such that what is weak by nature is now called strong and what is strong is “evil”.”
Maybe this is why it feels like SHIT to be on the receiving end of this. If you call out the ISFJ, well they’ve lied to themselves. So they’ll break down into tears and make you feel MORE like shit. They won’t admit it now or even later or in a safer format. It will never be acknowledged that it was SHIT. They might capitulate maybe if you I don’t know BULLY them. But you will be the SHIT. 🙁
“They have a gift for making those things charming and even just pointing them out in a way that makes them joyous.”
Totally, all the ones I know do this. They will make a little plastic tupperware look really lovely because it’s holding a cup that is holding a plant, and they thought of placing it on the toilet or some clever place in the house. Etc.
I have trouble grasping Si function as whole. Could you spare a few words on this function?
What a lovely piece. I’ve seen this coming as matter of fact. Because i’m currently dating an ISFJ, at first I ignored the odd feeling whenever we meet or texted. She’s like a completely different person. I can feel she wants to control me, but with the thinnest strings and the most warm yet firm of grips. A Silent Assasin this one i know, made me frustrated at times. Ya well she meant good actually but, be careful! Thanks for your writing, I enjoyed it very much. Cheers!
Very nice conspiracy theory! I really loved it! You could extend it to Eastern societies as well. For example, you could say that in the China, the whole ideology of the Mandate of Heaven and Confucian notions of virtue (de) in a gentlemen (junzi) were successful fabrications by ISFJs to keep the ruling classes in check.. Binding them by constructs of morality (in the Chinese sense) and requiring the ENTJ warlord types to appeal to these constructs to legitimize their rule. Meanwhile the ISFJ palace concubines cackle and enjoy their earthly delights…
I’ve recently come to realize that I’m an ISFJ when I had thought I was an INFJ. Still digesting the article here…
You’ve written many helpful things on INFJ’s. Could you write about how an ISFJ can become more more balanced and healthy. I liked the suggestion of the table fountain for the INFJ.
Thanks.
What specifically made you realize that you were an ISFJ rather than INFJ? I’m curious.
Yes, I will write more about ISFJ in a more near-term vs. collective sense. The flow fountain would be a good recommendation for an ISFJ as well. Both INFJ and ISFJ have the same (or similar) auxiliary functions, so there is some overlap between the Fe solutions I have put forth for INFJ and their relevance for the ISFJ type as well. Though, there are important differences. For one thing, ISFJs are much more grounded than ISFJs and so less prone to the excesses of Ti looping.
Anyway, let me know what caused you to change to ISFJ from INFJ. I would like to hear about this.
What I’m noticing is that I can’t relate to the idea of my mind creating patterns, possibilities and principles – as typology says. I don’t enjoy engaging in abstract ideas or theories. I don’t believe I have what would be seen as hunches and I don’t just “know” what will take place in the future. I don’t absorb others emotions but am terribly distraught by the suffering of those close to me as well as animals. I had thought INFJ as there are many things I can relate to – that list is very long but most significantly I have a strong draw to and am moved by mystery, hiddenesss, imagery and the metaphor. On the other hand, I am stabilized by tradition and don’t see why something needs to be changed just because it’s the future. I don’t think like “what could be” – in fact I’m not forward thinking but am very nostalgic about the past. I am resistant to change and am upset by new technology. Dependability is very important to me and feel crushed if I believe I’ve let someone down. l like preciseness, creating beauty and coming alongside others to create safety and a place for growth for them. I’m all about comfort as well and when life starts feeling overwhelming I become paralyzed and do the catastrophizing thing…
I seem to spend much time outside the moment and it’s not always thinking so I know something in me is gathering…just haven’t been clear whether that’s Ni or Si.
Do you know Naruto ? I don`t want to spoiler anything, so if you don`t this will most likely be a useless comment. Anyways, the story of it deals with illusions, to make everyone happy. It`s so interesting to see how much the story of it focuses on Fe vs. Fi and other things that you wrote down here.
To make your comment more useful (I don’t know Naruto, the manga ninja), elaborate on what you mean by the Fe vs. Fi dichotomy in that story and how that relates to what is written here.
But…I also get caught repeatedly in the Ti loop – overthinking everything. I see things in black in white – very hard to see the gray and I am not a typical SJ in that I will rebel against the rules. I also am a student of mysticism and can relate to all your posts on INFJ. What would you say is the best way to understand the difference of the two types?
ISFJs and INFJs are more similar (in some cases) that many people would like to admit. They are similar in every function position except the dominant/inferior axis, which, albeit, is the biggest axis of all for any type, but still, they have same id (Fi), same superego (Te), same auxiliary (Fe) and same tertiary (Ti).
So, essentially they are much the same in personality projection (Fe), their feeling natures (Fi), their mentalities (Ti), and their perfectionist tendencies (Te).
The big difference is that INFJs have an existential dilemma because of the Ni dominance with Se inferior and ISFJs…well, ISFJs don’t.
ISFJs more or less accept things the way they are. They don’t question the basic grounds of existence the way someone with Ni-Se inferior as primary axis does (INTJ does this as well).
But, ISFJs have a similar complexity and richness of expression that INFJs do. They don’t have the core identity issues that INFJ does, the “who am I” question that goes on for an eternity. No, ISFJs aren’t too troubled by what their identity is. With ISFJs there is more a question of usefulness that comes to the fore, that is, they ask “What can I be used for?”
In line with this, they don’t have any of the Ni feeling of being special in some absolute sense, such that one is on a divine mission that causes many INFJs to despair and to stall in action due to a fear that what they might do may be wrong in the whole order of things.
ISFJs are much more action-oriented and not delayed in action due to endless pondering of the possibilities of actions to take. Si as an orientation starts with what is nearest at hand, with the skills that one currently has and doesn’t make a big fuss about potentials. Si is concerned about current possibilities and the interest for ISFJ is to see what they can make out of what is already there. To work with what you got and not worry about who or what you could be. You will find that out through “doing.” So, naturally, ISFJ is going to be a happier and more contented type since they enjoy doing something and not just pondering all the infinite possibilities of being.
ISFJs are likely to be more productive than INFJs and not get stalled in consideration. ISFJs are introverts so they do introspect to some degree but it is much more limited and pragmatic in nature than INFJs eternal analysis.
Speaking of analysis, yes, they both have the Ti tertiary function, but, ISFJ is using this in an Si context and so are not nearly as prone to getting stalled in action and philosophical speculation as INFJs do with their Ti tertiary in an Ni context. Basically, anything in an Ni context goes on forever. INFJs build for eternity, so to speak. ISFJs build for today with what is needed now. They are not waiting for that perfect piece of art to come out of them. They are not waiting to be inspired. One could say that ISFJs are often inspired by all the mundane things happening in their local environment, the day-to-day rhythms of life, the very things that INFJs find to be a drag and that take them out of their inspired state.
ISFJs more make art out of all that little stuff of daily life. That is them using their Fe auxiliary in an Si context. ISFJs revel in all the facets of the mundane world. They have a gift for making those things charming and even just pointing them out in a way that makes them joyous.
Curious George comes to mind. That whole show is all about ISFJ. If you have ever seen it, you will see how excited (and curious) George gets by all the little things of the city, how the baker, the chef, the scientist, the clock, the candy dispenser machine all work. In that show, it is always some little and often unnoticed aspect of some environment that is mostly taken for granted by everyone else that George fixates on and gets so curious about that he has to “do” something in order to come to terms with it. Often, George ends up trying to “make” something of his own that will recreate that aspect of the environment to give him a better understanding of it. For example, how the gears in a dispenser machine work or how a malfunctioning traffic light causes the orderly sequence of cars to get disordered. Often with ISFJ, there is this aspect of disrepair, something that is taken for granted until it stops functioning properly. ISFJs love to solve these types of problems. There is also an echo of ENTP in all this activity of the ISFJ, and many ISFJs have been mistyped as ENTPs. Walt Disney comes to mind.
ISFJs use their Ti in application to things that already exist, and since things that exist, by nature, have limitation built into them (by virtue of existing), their Ti is generally much more circumscribed than INFJ’s version of Ti tertiary. An ISFJ will have their Ti curiosity satisfied when they have actually solved a problem. It has a definite beginning and end because Si has a definite beginning and end. An ISFJ is generally a more contented type because of this dynamic of limitation. They accept it. INFJs don’t.
Also, there is another misunderstanding about ISFJ due to a misconception about inferior functions. While inferior functions are basically forever lost as a point on embodiment and inhabitation, for this reason, they are a great source of objective consideration. And ISFJs will frequently be drawing from their Ne inferior in certain moments to ponder about the big picture reality of it all. I think this probaly happens as a natural extension of using their Si. After awhile an ISFJ will get some awareness about “so, what is the meaning of it all?” or “what are the patterns at play here?” They don’t by any means do this as a constant habit but more as a natural reaction to their Si localization and usefully plugging away at a practical problem. However, notice this is not an Ni thing at all. They do not ask what their significance is in the whole and their potentialities as a subject in the whole are. It is more if you were counting “4,000 holes in Blackburn, Lancashire” you might gradually, through a slow and methodical buildup, begin to get a picture of those holes as a whole. Umm, that’s a Beatles reference I made there. “Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall” Google it if must be.
So, there’s some of the difference. You said that you do not enjoy engaging in abstract ideas or theories or consideration of what will occur in the future. That is Ni/N stuff. INFJs can be identified by their propensity and love for engaging in abstract ideas for no other reason on earth except that it is just fun to do. And necessary for them. Probaly as necessary as breathing. To ask the question “why?” Why are things the way they are and not some other way? That is the gist of intuition. ISFJs tend to accept things as they are and are actually disquieted and disturbed when there is too much of this questioning of the fundamental nature of things going on. They can’t operate unless their is some solid, unquestioned, and accepted basis for activity. And if they can’t operate, they begin to feel useless. ISFJs need to feel useful, productive, busy at some task, into some groove that they can repeat like a trusty saddle or halter. They have to have their ground limitations. This is freeing to them. To Ni, it is a prison from which they are always desiring escape from. Ni often finds a way to escape from this in the form of seeking a new interpretation of those well-worn things. Their freedom lies in reinterpretations. They must see it another way and from another angle or they become deadened to life. Ni has to be able to see the unlimited potentials in existence and being. And INFJs particularly, have to be able to see this in themselves as subjects. Not INTJs nearly as much.
There has to be something new in the situation. Something new that they discover in themselves. ISFJ tends to see this as a waste of time and a sort of pretentious luxury that is stealing time away from being useful and tending to the needy environment, which is always full of a 1,001 things to explore and keep maintained. It looks so wanton to an ISFJ the way an INFJ famishes over themselves and who they are. They don’t understand it. Nor do INFJs understand Si dominance. At a core level, these two types have mutually conflicting ways of seeing and orienting and defining themselves.
The use of something is so besides the point to an INFJ. Who cares? What can it tell me about myself? What can it tell me about the nature of existence? Very different primal dilemmas these two have.
Personality-wise they are similar. Both types tend to put forth an Fe energy of flexibility, richness, and complexity. They are both hard types to read if they don’t want to be read in their deeper motives. They look somewhat alike on a surface and superficial level. They have a similar shining and gentle humanism when they are actively pouring themselves forth.
Both types are very sensitive to suffering or cruelty (Fi id). INFJs are ultimately more amoral in this regard. But, both types feel suffering of others acutely. In some ways, I think ISFJs more. But, ISFJs don’t torture themselves with the why of suffering, which will send INFJs into depressive depths of consideration that no one but them can reach. They ask “why is there so much pain and suffering in the world?” What does it mean to exist in a world that is so covered over with grief, pain, and suffering? The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. To be or not to be? Etc.
ISFJs…not so much. They simply wish to stop the suffering in the most immediate and near-term sense they can manage. They see moral issues as more black and white. There are abusers and the abused. The abusers must be stopped. But, unlike some more obvious bleeding heart types, ISFJs can be awfully savvy about how they solve that whole situation. That is exactly what I was talking about in this article when I was alluding to the slave revolt in morality that Nietzsche brilliantly diagnoses and discusses in his book The Genealogy of Morals. I see this as an ISFJ solution to cruelty en masse and as a collective representation of the type. They don’t openly protest about it. They don’t stick their neck out in direct protest to the abusers. No, they are much more subtle, clever, and psychological about it. They subtly undermine the values of the abuser. This is an Fi id thing of genius really. It does not come out openly. It insinuates, infers, dramatizes discontent (Fe aux. in there too), persuades others, shames, guilt-trips, and so on. It is quite a lot like the proverbial Jewish mother in operation. You do not go against a Jewish mother. O, the heavy silence that ensues when you go against her.
Anyway, that’s some of the differences. And similarities too. INFJs are capable of a similar Fi id trip thing, but, it ain’t as subtle. Usually.
Hi Blake,
Thanks for this. I haven’t seen the INFJ and ISFJ compared like this before.
I am an INFJ and have been in a relationship with an ISFJ for 14 years, my best friend for 15. Half of my life. We come off as very compatible to our friends–almost the same interests, loyal to each other, diplomatic personalities, the capacity to be understanding and supporting.
They don’t believe that our relationship actually started out very volatile and I am now just learning–and understanding–that this is because of our opposing Si-Ni. When we were kids, young and immature, well…you paint a pretty accurate picture of INFJs and ISFJs, so I’m sure you could guess how it looked.
Years of emotional garbage later, I think we’ve come closer to some sort of understanding on why we are the way we are and work around it. I get it. I think he kind of does–I try to explain it anyway, and I think he is at least at the level of “I’m not sure I get it but I know it’s important to you”. The best part is that since we know what we aren’t, we’ve started using it to our advantage, compensating for each other’s weaknesses. It is almost scary the amount of stuff we have accomplished in our personal life because of this. He trusts my Ni; I defer to his Si. Don’t ask about the handful of people who have crossed us over the years…
Our relationship I think will always have its trials (80% probably my fault, what with my INFJ existentialist angst). But your comment makes it clear how it works. It’s crazy, really.
I live in a christian comunity and have a lot of friends that have that kind of mentality which says that” you can do that and you can’t do that and that” and that’s the end of the discussion. My question is this: do you think this kind of thinking has a lot to do with type or is it related to family education. Not all of them are SJ types yet they don’t seem to question anything regarding their beliefs. I gave up talking on this kind of topics becouse we always end up arguing.
I am INFJ (yet i’m not sure of it) and I do believe in God but in a different and more complicated way.
My second question is this: How does the sun sing infuence your personality?? I have scorpio sun and pisces moon or something like that. But I don’t really know what that meas.
Yes, primarily an SJ thing, but, of course, other types can be indoctrinated with this mentality, especially if they are brought up in an atmosphere heavily steeped in it.
Si = don’t question tradition. Just follow tradition.
Ni = Question tradition. Do not blindly follow tradition.
“My second question is this: How does the sun sing infuence your personality?”
The Sun sign is your personality. It is similar to the auxiliary function in Myers-Briggs, at least the way I look at it. However, you can’t find your type by looking at your astrology chart, but, it does emend the innate type that you are.
A Scorpio Sun is similar to an Fi auxiliary function. If you’re an INFJ, you have an Fe auxiliary function. So, the common denominator is a personality full of feeling. I would think Scorpio would tone down some of the friendliness and exuberance of the Fe auxiliary and it would also emphasize (highlight) the Fi id of INFJ. For example, Dostoevsky was an INFJ who had a Scorpio Sun. A profusion of hell is what this amounted to. Probaly some gift for expressing the darkness of the Fi id in its most outright fashion and making it palatable.
Camus is another INFJ that had a Scorpio Sun. Fraught existentialists is what I see from those two examples. A high pitch of id and the dark underbelly of human nature.
I wrote about Fi id of INFJ here and here. Those should give you some understanding of what I mean by Fi id.
Can I be INFJ and ISFJ at the same time because results say 50% intuition?
Virgo Sun
Libra Venus
In my view, you are either one or the other. Though, I think there can be INFJs that are Si-ish and ISFJs that are Ni-ish.
Also, I wouldn’t attribute that much importance to test results, especially in such a precise way.
In reality, Ni and Si work together in a continual struggle, similar to the SQUARE aspect in astrology.
Your astrology will emend your innate type, but, will not determine your type.
I offer consultations to help determine what your type is. Check out my Consultations Services page on the top menu if interested. The best way for me to determine your type is by talking to you for awhile. I can definitely distinguish quite easily between ISFJ and INFJ.
Lunar you are exactly right. They don’t, won’t, see how manipulative they are but so true
Maybe this is why it feels like SHIT to be on the receiving end of this. If you call out the ISFJ, well they’ve lied to themselves. So they’ll break down into tears and make you feel MORE like shit. They won’t admit it now or even later or in a safer format. It will never be acknowledged that it was SHIT. They might capitulate maybe if you I don’t know BULLY them. But you will be the SHIT. ????
Yo you’re really good. I’m gonna show this to my ISFJ aunt ^.^ she’ll prolly stop reading a quarter of the way through and announce that it’s time for lunch.
Haha.
Thanks man
@Blake- I loved reading what you had to say about different functions/temperaments rising and falling through history and in different places. I especially loathe the “soft and tepid” values of the modern western world. It gives me a sickly, suffocating feeling. It reminds me of this poem by Rumi:
“Your old grandmother says,
“Maybe you shouldn’t go to school.
You look a little pale.”
Run when you hear that.
A father’s stern slaps are better.
Your bodily soul wants comforting.
The severe father wants spiritual clarity.
He scolds, but eventually
leads you into the open.
Pray for a tough instructor
to hear and act and stay within you.
We have been busy accumulating solace.
Make us ashamed of how we were.”
While introverted thinking is exalted as valid and intelligent, there is a tempering and tamping down of feeling and intuition. Anything strong or passionate or raw is suspect. As an INFJ, this drives me nuts! Whenever anybody tries to tamp me down with reason I have an overwhelming desire to slap them or throw them off a cliff.
True to your descriptions of INFJ’s I constantly wrestle with the “why am I here,” “who am I really?” “what is it all about” merry-go-round. I used to think that my melancholy moods were because the world was so dark. Then, I had a revelation. Two-part revelation.
One day, at the psych hospital where I worked, I was involved in a crisis situation (can’t go into details) but it involved a suicidal patient and a fair amount of blood. I was cool as a cucumber. Clear on what needed to be done. And I was one of the only people able to actually talk with the patient after the incident and connect with her. Every body was saying what a burden this patient was- how impossible and crazy. But I didn’t feel that way at all. I loved working with her and talking with her. I felt like I was able to relate to the dark places she lived in. Many people at the hospital talk about how draining all of that darkness is, but I found it oddly energizing. Like “What’s next! Bring it on!” I helped prevent somebody from trying to kill themselves. It MEANT something.
So this got me thinking about my previous job- working as an office manager- where every day felt like trudging through hell. Or maybe purgatory is more accurate. I was constantly in conflict with my boss. Bitchy and miserable.
Then I thought that it was a bit strange that I should feel so good after intervening on a suicide attempt and so hellishly terrible after siting in a comfortable office with free coffee, benefits and a nice pay check. So that got me thinking that it isn’t the darkness I find so terrible at all. It’s the bland get-by do-good that I cannot stand. It just makes me want to scream. It makes me want to burn everything to the ground. It feels like the antithesis of all that is greatness- all that is beauty and soul in this world. All that humanity might achieve at its heights.
Basically, I realized that I am bored.
I WANT to be challenged. I WANT to be uncomfortable. I want to be thrown in the deep end and not know what the fuck to expect. I am constantly looking for people with more knowledge and experience than I have. Constantly looking to be surprised. To be called out.
Outside of a handfull of friends I love dearly, pretty much wherever I go I am told (and oh so politely!) that my passions, my curiosities and intuitions are, at best, irrelevant and, at worst, dangerous. I really don’t give a flying fuck that other people feel this way. But it is such a let down to be nicely dismissed. I’ll take a real, formidable enemy to a tepid friendliness any day. There is nothing to even fight back at. It’s like fighting ghosts. Like throwing punches at oatmeal.
That is the biggest disappointment. It’s like death by applesauce and oatmeal. Sometimes I just can’t take it and I do confront the shit out of the mediocrity of it all but then it just feels ridiculous. Like I just threw a blow torch at somebody’s grandma.
It reminds me of Steppenwolf, when Herminie is telling Harry that she understands him- that she could have been the wife of a king, a revolutionary. But the modern age is a comfortable room with people laughing and drinking. Greatness is not needed, we are told. Humanity (or what passes for humanity) has created a culture that has slowly weeded out the necessity of actual human achievement. It caters to the lowest common denominator, the most base human impulses. Everything is a joke. And anybody who wants more is branded arrogant (ESPECIALLY I might add, a woman).
I’d say my greatest gift/curse is being able to burn through the bullshit, having acquired a taste for truth. (and I’m sure I’ve got plenty more of my own bullshit to burn though, just as a disclaimer!) But this has just GOT to be valuable somehow, some way. Even if 99.99999% of the world says it isn’t so. So, I keep on my path even if it involves talking and interacting with people that make me want to throw them of cliffs. And even thought this culture feels so full of arbitrary hoops to jump and mounds of red tape. And even if most days it all feels totally fucked and lik everything’s gone to hell. Because if I wasn’t working towards a vision of being able to share truth (in a grander scale than my blog-comments and conversations with friends), I wouldn’t have a reason for living. The only answer I know of, and as you mention in your INFJ articles, is to keep creating and expressing. And find some humor in it.
Awesome comment! Thanks for sharing this Jane.
I feel exactly that way (I think)! I am weirdly impressed at who-knows-what that you have written this. I wouldn’t say it the exact same way (I tend to be sort of soft-spoken, perhaps, which, I think, confuses people when they hear of my ‘hard’ side), but this is what I’ve felt for years, and in a little more ‘detail’ recently (apparently emotions are detailed).
I sort of ‘come alive’ in danger. Danger doesn’t happen often- I feel a little like I am cursed with the most boring, mundane, useless life. I hear what others talk about happening in their lives and wish to be in their shoes, where I’d have to keep a cool head and act with precision. Perhaps when people relate something that happened to them, it always sounds more exciting than in real life; I don’t know, or else they really do have more exciting lives. And it seems that all the Exciting things that happened in my family’s life happened before I was even born, or old enough to remember (like a sister falling down the stairs as a baby, or something).
I was told by someone once that I should be a medic. 🙂 It’s one of those compliments that means a lot to me. I won’t be a medic, though, because the modern medical profession is not my cup of tea. I like the ancient medical profession of danger and risk-taking better (except I’d want to be a time-traveller and take modern wisdom back with me). And of course I would show sagely wisdom, but look like a fourteen-year-old (it’s annoying that people often think I’m older than I am; old soul and all that).
Also, I want to post your comment on my blog so that people who read it (if they ever do) can know better the Inner Nature of the Me. I sometimes imagine that my own words don’t do anything justice. But perhaps I should just try to post it in my own words? If I happen to find out you’ve responded and are fine with me stealing snippets of it, I’d be gratified. Although I secretly just want to steal it anyway, imagining that if you posted this on the web, it’s like a potluck- first come, first served! But I won’t. I must discipline my over-abundant enthusiasm.
Damn but I relate. Thanks for this.
This is for Jane, thought I was putting it in reply.
Oh thanks! I am glad to hear it 🙂
I feel like humor is really the best bridge… something I’m working on. Being more playful and silly with it all. I am still pursuing greatness and working to carve out my niche in this world. But Jesus! all that melodrama starts to feel like a parody of myself some times 🙂
I’ve noticed that the intensity can really put people off. I truly didn’t realize that this was happening when I was younger. I would confront issues ruthlessly in a way that would take the air out of the room completely. I would just write them off as wimps. And not that I put a lot of stock in what other people think, but I do enjoy being able to relate and connect. Some people can respond to the truth full-strength but most can’t. And sometimes it’s necessary to lubricate social interactions to be able to get any footing to make things happen in this world.
I have that handful of friends who appreciate my full-strength bite (and who can dish it back too, I might add! I need that.) and to them I am eternally grateful. But I can also afford to be gracious. It won’t kill me and actually it can feel pretty good once I get over my stubbornness. I can get awfully judgmental and arrogant if I don’t remember that. And again, not that it’s wrong or bad to say “fuck the world!” but it eats ME up inside when I carry on that way too long- all sharp and fiery. I burn MYSELF out as well as others.
Lol.. had a conversation today.. a friend was talking about economic growth in our city and where it would lead us 10 years from now and I was trying to explain how an economic and societal collapse is lurking beneath it all, in disguise.. how we won’t sustain because we’re focusing on growth in all the wrong sectors.. and why that’s happening because people are fundamentally driven by all the wrong motives.. and in order to truly progress, in a positive sense, we’ve got to focus on changing the way people think rather than on maximising economic growth, cause that would naturally follow anyway.. and he asked me why I am so pessimistic all the time and said there’s no point thinking about what’s gonna happen 50 years later cause we’re gonna be dead.. and I was like Aaaargghh!!
I loved both your comments Jane 🙂
@Piggie I think there is value in seeing things as they are, even if bleak. I definitely see a relationship between lowest lows and highest highs- darkest dark and lightest light. I feel like alot of people are “living lives of quiet desperation”- they can feel all that weight and pain SOMEWHERE, but it’s vague and unclear and they’ve got to cover it up with that tepid nice-ness I mentioned loathing in the comment above.
If a person actually confronts their demons (personal and collective) and looks them in the face and feels like there’s no point to living at all- if they can find the strength to do that and still find a reason to go on living, it’s going to be a pretty fucking good reason. Or at least a strong one.
The danger I see for some types (INFJ’s I’m looking at you!) is to see ONLY the dark side of things and get stuck there. It becomes a sort of glorious torture addiction. Have you ever had braces? I remember whenever I got my braces tightened, I used to bite down on my teeth to make it hurt worse. I have no idea why. A lot of other people with braces I knew did the same things. It’s like that.
I like this quote from Even Cowgirls Get the Blues by Tom Robbins: “I believe in nothing, everything is sacred. I believe in everything, nothing is sacred.”
And I see a huge difference between genuine loving, graciousness, kindness, sweetness and that awful tepid niceness. On is a ripe, juicy peach, the other is chicken broth. One knows darkness but knows there is light, too and that you can’t truly know one without the other. The latter just pretends the darkness doesn’t exist at all.
My aim in life is to live the paradox. To reconcile opposites.
isfjs really influenced by their early experiences maybe
just made that up. but seems like that thinking about obama etc.
some isfjs just seem to function almost like Ne-types. even if they arent.
I am an INFJ in relationship with an ISFJ. I do believe that for all their seeming niceness, this type actually personifies “evil.” Very disingenuous, whether they know it or not. And when they lose their cool, they have no reins on their blast of shit in all directions and no concern for the immense harm their vitriol and spitefulness causes. I am currently researching how best to kill one and get away with it. IMO ISFJs need to be beaten mercilessly into complete submission for their subterfuge and assholery. It would be an incredible justice to torture, maim and destroy the one I’m currently with. In the end, I’ll probably just leave. And will be sad for all the caring and love that has been wasted. And this incredibly shallow piece of shit won’t give a rat’s ass that I’m gone…probably never had the depth or intellect to appreciate me anyway. Advice to all NFs: do NOT be taken in by the shallow, deceptive ISFJ. You will regret it!
Hi, it’s doubtful that the person you’re in relationship with is ISFJ if you’re an INFJ. Also, how you described your paramour doesn’t sound like an ISFJ (ISFJ’s aren’t “incredibly shallow” or lacking in “intellect”).
Maybe an ISFP? Dunno.
Aha, got it. I was thinking about what type makes the best mother, is why I read this section. Not this mother archetype.
Thank YOU for this one. I thought I’m alone in this world who actually discovered that. You know what frustrates the most? That folks continue perceive them as angels (nurturers, kind souls, warmth in human form, you name it); as devoted and loyal ones (oh god, someone please do smth to stop this nonsense…). You know how shitty that feels when you see this SiFe kabuki theater and how others get hypnotized, literally falling into that emotional trap, without them poor souls realizing that all they do is upgrading themselves, their Si, through extracting information. Like parasites, latching to a host full of resources that they deficient of, using their numbing agent SiFe that works every time, all the time. They have supporters, so they’re backed up.
These are gold diggers, if you look closely enough, you’ll notice them. They chase money, handsome/popular partners, lavish life. They protect their investments, try to fuck with them, they’ll put all efforts to get rid of you. Gossip, manipulation, throwing victim card, a shit load of tricks of portraying you as an abuser. The supporters will finish the job, those are the vicious ones when protecting their angel.
But I got smarter, I have learned my lesson. Easy to identify visually, no interaction needed. No eye contact, turn around and go in another direction.
Boss, co-worker? Grey rock, total apathy and lack of interest. But most importantly, no passive aggression. Provide no information, keep your shit for yourself, golden rule. Any shit. Hush it. Strictly business and detached cooperation.
So much of a Nurtures, holy f sh