I am going to be discussing the difference between INFJ and ENFJ using the two different positions of introverted intuition as a guide. INFJ has Ni as a dominant function and ENFJ has introverted intuition as an auxiliary function. Introverted intuition has a characteristic difference and look depending on whether it is being used as a dominant or auxiliary function.
The dominant function is often misunderstood because it is assumed that just because it is the function of first preference, that it is also the most visible function. This is only true if you have a particularly intimate association with a person, but, in typing celebrities or people that you only have a casual acquaintance with, it doesn’t work this way.
The auxiliary function is classically described as the function that is second in strength only to the dominant function. This is true in some respects, however, it is the primary function that is most in evidence when people are playing a role or putting on a public face. This also has implications in the way a person looks upon first impression. The auxiliary is the leading function in a general sense.
While the auxiliary function has generally been seen this way for introverted dominant types (because in them the auxiliary is extraverted), it is also true for extraverted dominant types, even though their auxiliary is introverted.
What this means in terms of type identification is that ENFJs can often be mistaken for INFJs and vice-versa. ENFJs can, and often do, project a strong introverted intuition vibe. What this looks like in net effect is an ENFJ personality will be characterized by strong presence and charisma, a sense of intense certainty about their being, who they are and what they represent.
This lies in contradistinction to many INFJs, who often have identity problems and a great deal of uncertainty about who they are and what they represent.
And as I just said, the main reason for this difference lies in the two different positions of introverted intuition for them.
So, this really comes down to a difference between what the dominant function does and what the auxiliary function does. Because introverted intuition will have different characteristic manifestations depending on whether it is placed at one or the other of these two orientations.
It’s kind of like a number will have a different meaning depending on whether it is placed in one column or another.
Take the number 32. It has a 3 and a 2 in it.
Now, take the number 23. It has a 3 and a 2 in it as well. Let’s say number 3 is extraverted feeling and number 2 is introverted intuition. The 2 is in the ten’s column in the number 23 and in the one’s column in the number 32.
So, we can agree that has different implications for introverted intuition, whether it is in the ten’s column or the one’s column. This is kind of the difference between the essential nature of a function and its different meanings depending on whether it is placed as a dominant or auxiliary function.
Any Myers-Briggs type can express introverted intuition, but the question is to what degree and in what characteristic fashion. This is really a question of quantity and quality. The first is often acknowledged in assigning the degree of strength of functions to each type, but the latter question of quality is often overlooked. A function can be qualitatively important but quantitatively weak.
So, back to what I was saying. ENFJs often project a strong sense of self and INFJs often don’t, and moreover, INFJs are in a perpetual search for some strong and definite sense of self. How are they going to project something if they can’t find some definite quality to project?
No, often what INFJs project is extraverted feeling, which in them amounts to them being able to project a great and varied array of personality flavors, all of shifting and great subtleties. Rarely do INFJs come on strong or project a certain and definite vibe. They may project a pleasant vibe or a downcast vibe or a…in short, they can project so many different types of vibes that they don’t know what the fuck to make of it, which is why they are one of the most difficult types to type, to themselves, and others.
So, for INFJs introverted intuition as a dominant basically leads to a vast amount of questioning and uncertainty. Then they have their lovely auxiliary extraverted feeling to further complicate and compound matters by projecting a great array of different possibilities of being and personality.
For ENFJs, all the potential quandaries that can be caused by having Ni and Fe in the INFJ positions is cancelled out for them simply by having the positions of the same two functions switched around.
ENFJs, instead of having introverted intuition at the dominant, have extraverted feeling. This is rather simple in a way. Where introverted intuition as a dominant says, “Who am I?”, searching inside for eternity and infinity to find a never-ending array of possibilities and meanings, extraverted feeling as a dominant says, “Take a look around your culture, see what type of personalities prevail in that culture and adopt some of those as reference points for your identity and ego-containment. Whichever ones float your boat. And also the ones that are approved of by society, in some sense.
Then introverted intuition comes in and says, “Fuck that, rebel. I’m gonna be my own person. And make a point of it. I’m gonna be such an individual in personality projection that people will not mistake me as someone who is just gonna be a comformist.” Something like that.
Actually, for an INFJ it can be that way too. Deep inside they can have an absolute certainty about who they are but they don’t care to show anyone else. So, they protect it, guard it, unfold it slowly over time to themselves. It is their own private and incommunicable world in their own language. In short, it is difficult to express the true nature of it. Some do attempt to express it directly (which means by short-circuiting the auxiliary extraverted feeling) and in those cases, it tends to either come out as an overwhelming and extremely powerful expression of self and truth or it fails spectacularly and can drive the person expressing that overpowering vision into the depths of despair and madness.
Yes, those are the awesome pure introverted intuitive types that you may have heard about, geniuses or madmen. But, many INFJs don’t fall at those extremes. Many are tempered by other functions, the first candidate being extraverted feeling at their auxiliary. The ones that are using that the most will probably be the most healthy and well-adjusted INFJs. But note that healthy and well-adjusted don’t correlate to the most interesting INFJs. There are tradeoffs in everything.
ENFJs, on the other hand, are not that invested in introverted intuition because they are not using it as a primary ego-orientation (meaning as a dominant function) but are using it as an auxiliary function, which means playfully, naturally, expressively, with complete ease. This is why many ENFJs make great actors. They use Ni to project a strong presence of a particular person. But, they aren’t invested in that presence. It is just a role.
Thus, the dominant function is opposite to the auxiliary function in many respects. The dominant function tends to be serious, whereas the auxiliary function tends to be playful and light. The dominant orientation holds together the ego-integration through the characteristic nature of whatever function lies there. With introverted intuition there, as you can imagine, the ego-integration tends to be tenuous at best. There are advantages and disadvantages to this. But, in net effect it leads to a leaky boat on an vast ocean, where the boat represents ego containment and the ocean represents the collective unconscious, the vast storehouse of all the possibilities and archetypes of human existence (and even outside the realm of human existence). So, as you can see introverted intuitive dominant types are going to be having a time trying to sort all that shit out.
Whereas, an ENFJ is not going to have that problem with their ego and identity and all that. They project all the possibilities of the collective unconscious and usually do it with a certainty, that is, settling on one role or another at any given time. Actually, what a lot of them end up expressing is the amoral and unsettling quality of the vast reservoir of the collective unconscious as a personality. So, many of the tortured and outcast (and dangerous) loner types you see portrayed in cinema (which is a great place to scope for ENFJs) are the personification and expression of introverted intuition. Not the embodiment of it, not the permanent inhabitation of it, but the clearest expression and visibility of introverted intuition.
If you want to know what introverted intuition is in a general sense, study the way ENFJs use it.
Notice I say the way they use it. INFJs don’t so much use introverted intuition, as experience it. Or rather they receive in this manner. ENFJs transmit introverted intuition. They put it out as a product. In this sense, ENFJs use introverted intuition in its more active sense than INFJs. With introverted intuitive dominant types, like INFJ, it is more that they are tuned into the station of introverted intuition. But, they transmit extraverted feeling, that is, assuming they are in the habit of transmitting anything at all.
Well, hope that clears some things up. If not, consult your local god or go throw some coins in a wishing well. Better yet, throw some coins in my wishing-well. That might work out more to your liking in the long-run.
Got questions? Leave a comment.
Yay! Meanwhile, ENTJs are most likely using their Ni to manipulate everyone around them into following along with some tyrannical Te scheme. I do often wonder how useful dominant Ni really is to the INFJ/INTJ. I suppose only insomuch as they are combining it with their Fe/Te functions, respectively. Thanks for another great article.
Dominant Ni is useful if you are an artist, a psychologist, or a genius. It ain’t too great for that plodding middle existence.
And you are welcome. Thanks for the exuberant comment.
Talking about dominant Ni, do you think it’s a good idea for INFJ to become a psychiatrist?
If the INFJ in question has an interest in psychiatry, then yes, it is one of the more viable careers for an INFJ, with a couple of caveats. INFJS have a natural psychological gift, however, much of psychiatry has become institutionalized to such an extent that an INFJ might not be comfortable with the general trends in the field towards a purely physiological model of the psyche and as an outcome of this model, the tendency to think that medication is the primary answer to all the ills of the psyche.
There is a lot of politics and dogma in the psychiatric industry that an INFJ is bound to find loathsome.
But, yes INFJS are natural-born psychologists, more so than any other type. This gift can be applied to many different fields in which there is a human element.
Any humanity…. YES…NF MAKE THE BEST COUNCELORS. I AM A MENTAL HEALTH WORKER. ENFJ A
Blake’s comment I totally agree with. “There is a lot of politics and dogma in the psychiatric industry that an INFJ is bound to find loathsome.” Yes! Most of psychiatry is medical model driven. It is not holistic and leads to diagnosis and treatment of the “broken” part, much like a mechanic does with a car. A psychiatrist is more of a medical doctor with special training in psychopharmacology. They spend very little time with patients in providing psychotherapy. Their therapy is usually drug related, and they make adjustments to the medication over time to manage symptoms. The movies show psychiatrists providing analysis and therapy. In reality, most provide diagnosis and the psychotherapy is conducted elsewhere. Their therapy these days is largely to prescribe pharmaceuticals.
Hi, I type as an INFJ. I related to what you wrote about identity issues and it’s something I struggle with. Until recently I was so sure I was INTJ but my mom, who I’ve been trying to get into Myers-Briggs and who actually is an INTJ, knows me really well and convinced me that I was INFJ. Anyway, I wanted to know what your opinion was: do you think it’s worth putting so much effort toward establishing a more grounded sense of self or should I just get over it? Sorry if this isn’t the type of question you like to get – I really, really love your writing on this site, it’s so much fun to read.
Establishing a more grounded sense of self. Hmm. I don’t know if I know quite what that means.
Here is what I think you are getting at, and correct me if I am wrong. Since an INFJ is so tuned into this cosmic radio station via their dominant Ni, and since they are basically adrift on this huge ocean of unconsciousness in a leaky boat, is there really any hope of them being normal earth dwellers that participate in the world the way, say, a dominant sensation type would?
Answer: No.
But, that is not to say that an INFJ shouldn’t attempt to offer something to the world along the lines that they are good at. For one thing, INFJs have something very special going for them. Because they are so out of the majority way of looking at and doing things, they can often offer something new to the world that corresponds to their strength in being so in tune with the collective unconscious. The difficulty with this is that there are so few ready-made paths available for people that are primarily oriented by introverted intuition.
I have said before on various articles and comments on this site that INFJs should use their auxiliary extraverted feeling if they are getting too caught up in introversion. I see that as being their ready-made form of grounding. But it is not grounding in the way I typically think of it when someone like an ISTJ tells you to get your head out of the clouds and buckle down and go get a job and just be normal like everyone else. An INFJ will not likely get along that way. Partly because they can’t and partly because they know they have something special to offer and so they will never be at peace with themselves unless they learn to follow their visions…and express them.
This takes a trust of course. One has to learn to trust themselves to go against what the vast majority of society thinks about things and follow one’s own path. There is often no guidance from the average quarters, and if there is, it is often in danger of steering you in the wrong directions. In short, it is difficult. It is not an easy path. However, the rewards for following it are beyond description.
So, is it worth the effort to develop a grounded sense of self? I would say yes if what you mean by that is a stable sense of identity. But, the thing is, that will only come through action. If an INFJ stays in their room searching for themselves they are never going to find it. It is kind of counter-intuitive to an INFJ because they often think if they just try a little harder and a little longer they will get closer to that stable sense of identity, they will finally and for all times, know who they are. And goddamn it, that is what they want to know. Who the fuck am I for chrissakes?
Action. Extraversion. That is what is needed to solve this dilemma. They have to get out of themselves and into something that is not them. Could be art, could be a relationship, could be starting a new religion. But, I mostly think that INFJs simply need to express themselves in some medium, somehow. They already have the raw material of perceptive insight into a shitload of things, things that the average person don’t know nothing about. But, this insight is a danger to them too if they don’t find a way to channel it into works of some sort. Which in spirit will be more like play.
Introverted intuition is the most potent function around. It is special. If it backs up on you it will fuck you until you want to die. If you find a way to express it via an extraverting judging function (in this case, Fe) it will take you to the promise land.
And when you learn to express it on a continuous basis, somewhere in there you will begin to develop that stable sense of self whilst you weren’t even paying attention to it.
I don’t know if that answered your question, but I tried. If I didn’t, come at me again. And don’t worry about the type of questions I like to get. I like to get any questions as long as they are sincere inquiries.
“they often think if they just try a little harder and a little longer they will get closer to that stable sense of identity, they will finally and for all times, know who they are.”
Yeah, that’s what I meant by “grounded sense of self”. I drive myself crazy trying to figure out aspects of my personality so I can just naturally be myself but I always catch myself being so aware of and catering to other people’s personalities when I’m with them. At least I think that’s what happens.
Thank so much for the response. Expressing myself is not really something that I’m in the practice of and what you said makes sense, I think it could really help. I’m just so terrible at it.
Do you have any way of expressing yourself that you don’t feel terrible at? If you are not in the practice of expressing yourself it may feel awkward at first. But, extraverted feeling flow for an INFJ is something that goes beyond thinking or analysis. Which is why it is the exact antidote an INFJ needs to get out of deadlock since they are so prone to ungodly levels of consideration of every little thing; who they are, what the world is, the suffering in the world, the suffering in them, what that person meant last Sunday when they said “fill in the blank”.
Introverted intuition will just run on forever. It is the eternity function. It will never stop generating streams of perception and thought. New ways of seeing the same thing. No stable meaning.
The stability comes from experience. The grounding comes from action. You cannot ground yourself while letting your introverted intuitive perceptions take you farther and farther away into the realms of thought.
Since direct action is forever forestalled in an INFJ (inferior extraverted sensation) and one of the main dilemmas of INFJ (how to stop thinking and take action), INFJ must sublimate direct action for artistic or expressive action (extraverted feeling). When they learn how to do this CONSISTENTLY they will win the lottery of life. All the troubles of their identity (who am I really?) will magically vanish because they cannot find out who they are by trying to find out who they are. As a matter of fact that should be written somewhere in bold letters where they can always see it.
AN INFJ CANNOT FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE BY TRYING TO FIND OUT WHO THEY ARE.
If an INFJ is sitting around pondering over who they are, what the meaning of it all is, and the thousand and one other considerations that assail them when they wall themselves in and go into their abyss of thought, they are on the wrong track.
Of course it is a habit that INFJs have developed when they ponder too much. It is comfortable and safe. They feel exalted in their ivory towers above the tumult of the world. But, INFJs don’t have to act in the conventional sense of that word (extraverted sensation). The world of direct action is forever cut off from them. So, to seek grounding in that sense won’t work for them either.
So, if you are and INFJ and you are bad at expressing yourself it may be because you are not used to it yet, you are too self-critical and perfectionistic, which in a sense means too considered about what you are doing, like watching yourself watch yourself watch yourself etc.
You have to find some activity that you can abandon yourself to and that is not overly analytical and thought based. Something where you aren’t able to think. I have an article about the concept of working fast called INFJ in Disarray. Working fast is something that an INFJ stuck in their endless consideration mode should consider. Just get some paper and a pen or a computer with word processor, set a timer for 30 minutes and just write as fast as you can until the buzzer goes off.
I guarantee you if you do that everyday for a month it will get you out of your consideration of who you are. You will begin to see who you are as you write fast and furiously, without interruption or censoring yourself. Just whatever comes to your pretty little mind. If you do an activity like this CONSISTENTLY and not just when you feel in your pretty little mood to do it, things will change in your life. This type of thing works for anyone, but for an INFJ it is their ticket to heaven.
And if they don’t do it, it is their ticket to hell. An INFJ can only find themselves when they extravert their feelings (which means flowing away from yourself)
Extraverting your feelings means engaging and expressing with other people in some way. Or finding an activity where you can express by yourself without getting blocked in analysis, consideration, self-censoring, self-criticism, perfectionism, and in short anything which brings this activity to a standstill. So, when doing this activity don’t worry about whether you are good or bad at it. Who the fuck cares if it will save you from a hell of self-focus?
And INFJs need to learn to save themselves. Fuck other people. You can’t help anyone if you yourself are fucked.
Fuck what other people think. Fuck what you think. Fuck all the suffering in the world.
EXPRESS.
FLOW, AND BE WILLING NOT TO KNOW.
Trust me, it is your skeleton key.
Thank you for everything you wrote, I think it was just what I needed. The excessive pondering and self-criticism and perfectionism that you described is so frustrating but even when it took me to some really low points, I somehow felt like I needed it to function and that creates this awful cycle. So when I read “flow, and be wiling not to know” I thought it was something I’d never be able to do but it was the perfect instruction – this may sound a little ridiculous but I seriously feel so much freer now. Really, thank you! I also got a lot out of your INFJ in Disarray article, and I’ll give that writing exercise a try. 🙂
I’m very happy to hear that Jordan. Rock on!
Jordan and Blake,
This stream of conversation was very instructive and helpful. Jordan, see Blake is right! Expressing yourself is good stuff. You just did that here and you feel more clarity and because you asked, so do I! Thanks to you both.
You wrote: “it is the primary function that is most in evidence when people are playing a role or putting on a public face. This also has implications in the way a person looks upon first impression. The auxiliary is the leading function in a general sense.”
“The dominant function tends to be serious, whereas the auxiliary function tends to be playful and light.”
Can you clarify this, please?
I (INFJ) find it that I’m more “alive” in the inside than on the outside, and I have thought that it is the imagination of Ni (which is perceiving, not making judgements) which makes me playful and light — in the inside. But you say it’s the Fe? Also, when I’m playing a role (usually to try to make an impression on someone) I appear more extraverted than I really am. I try to show how easygoing (but smart) I am. So I feel I use my auxiliary function when I play a role, but on the other hand I thought that because I’m not dominantly judging, that explains why I’m not as serious of a type than some people first think. (So yeah, sometimes the first impression of me can be that I’m very serious person [mostly I’m just in my thoughts], and people are surprised to find out what an rich imagination and vivid vocabulary I have.) Oh, wait, so I AM more serious in my dominant function role? So now you see why I’m so confused, lol.
God, INFJs are priceless. Such a categorical drive towards introverted thinking. “When I smile, that’s my Fe. But, when I am in my thoughts, that’s Ni. But, sometimes when I am in my thoughts, I am smiling too. Does not compute.”
First of all, I want to say that I totally believe that you are an INFJ without reservation. Nobody but an INFJ is capable of this kind of finesse and nuance in the drive to break themselves down into categories, to understand every little aspect of themselves categorically. So, as you can see, Myers-Briggs is the INFJ wet dream par excellence. It is like it was made for them, and them alone.
Anyway, onto clarifications. Yes, I said the dominant function tends to be serious and the auxiliary function is playful and light. So, anything that falls at the dominant function will be used in an effort to provide primary reference points for one’s existence upon this plane. To bottom-line what the dominant function is, I just call it “ego”, in the psychoanalytical sense of that word. This means this function is very busy holding the whole system (you) together at all times. The best analogy I can think of off the top of my head is that it is like the operating system in a computer. Without an operating system a computer can’t do anything. It will just sit there dumbly. The OS is the conductor (another good analogy) between all the parts of a computer. It is also the scheduler for what operations take priority and when they should be run and at what times etc. The OS is always busy, therefore it doesn’t have much time for play, because if it fails to function, then you are going to have processes stepping all over each other and the whole operation will just come crashing down. You know, computer crash.
So, that is how I see the dominant function. I don’t know if it is serious, maybe that’s the wrong word, but it is busy scheduling and allowing and prioritizing and whatever else operating systems do. It just is. Because if it isn’t, then you ain’t. It is that primary.
The auxiliary function has NONE of those responsibilities. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t really have to operate at all if it doesn’t want to (that’s pushing it, but you get the general idea). Compared to the dominant function, the auxiliary is the luxury function. It will operate when it damn well pleases. Let them wait. That type of thing. So, any process that is here will have carte-blanche more or less. It can come and go as it pleases. It is gifted. It knows people want it so badly. It is the one function that can get away with complete murder. It is lucky. The things of the auxiliary function tend to be so easy to do that the person doesn’t even care about them. They could easily do them, or not.
So, when you say, “people are surprised to find out what a rich imagination and vivid vocabulary I have”, those are two of the gifts that INFJs generally have that is due to their auxiliary extraverted feeling. To be sure, it is their auxiliary backed by their dominant Ni. But, the operative word is “backed” because this vividness and imagination is due to extraverted feeling taking center stage, being in the spotlight. Extraverted feeling in the INFJ auxiliary has an ease with language and imagination, when it wants to.
Now, you were talking about some quandary of this imaginative quality existing inside of you as well, which you thought would be ascribed to your dominant Ni. Well, that is true too. Introverted intuition is…well, I don’t know if “imaginative” is the right word, but it certainly is free-ranging, exploratory, and primed to ride trains of thought wherever in the name of living fuck they will take it. I think of “imaginative” as the ability to create fictions, but, I don’t see introverted intuition as doing this. It is more that it is imaginative in the realm of truth. So, its fantasies are not fictions (purely made up versions of events or characters) but more like being able to ride out to the farthest realms of objective existence (and don’t get me started on the word “objective”) to see what is out there. So, in that sense, Ni is not a fiction, it is just a place that very few people have seen.
So, in a nutshell, INFJs are serious-playful-serious-moody-really fucking serious-O, that was just a passing fancy-sort of serious-kind of curious-etc.
Yes, it is confusing. Especially when you lock into your dominant-tertiary loop. Yeah, just take introverted intuition dominant, which I already described in the article (tenuous ego-orientation) and combine it with tertiary introverted thinking (like a coked-up child that has a positive zeal for getting into all sorts of alien logics) and yes, you will get yourself in all colors and profusions of confusion.
INFJs are generally OK as long as they don’t insist on figuring it out directly. It will come to them when they stop paying attention to it. Like so many things in life.
Good questions. Thanks.
And let me know if that didn’t help to clarify or answer your questions.
Jordan, one of the things that really helped me to “flow” was discovering the work of Carol Dweck and her book Mindset. I think in part because the platonic ideal inside of ourselves is so beautiful and perfect, it can be hard to convince ourselves to physically manifest it or as Blake says extravert it because it will never be the same once it takes physical form. We want to rip it out in this fully realized version and have a hard time dealing with the ugliness of what is really supposed to be a process. Mindset is in some ways about how doing is what gets you to where you want to go (“effort makes ability”). The thing is, that place you actually arrive at the end of your journey is going to be different, maybe even better than what you first envisioned, so long as you are not trying to force a 1:1 relation between the introverted model and the extraverted reality. So long as you focus on the work, the doing.
http://www.amazon.com/Mindset-Psychology-Success-Carol-Dweck/dp/0345472322/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1427407489&sr=8-1&keywords=mindset
I found this gem of an article while trying to find out wether I was an INFJ or an ENFJ. After reading this, I’m leaning towards INFJ. I’m a very undecisive person when it comes to figuring out who I really am and I have noticed throughout all my friendships that I adapt my personality to fit that of the person I’m talking to. That said however, I am certain of one thing: I have strong leader qualities, am creative, and also very sensitive; all traits of an INFJ.
My question is, is it normal for INFJ’s to be intellectually inclined and/or more likely to be socially aware than other types? Are we above the maturity level expected for a certain age? For example, people tell me my way of thinking is that of a mature young adult, say a 19 year old. It baffles me since I am only 13 years old, but I’m always told such things. Another question, which proffessions do you believe an INFJ will thrive and be successful + happy in the most? At the moment, I am thinking of pursuing International Relations or Software Engineering.
My apologies if these questions are unreasonable or can’t be answered using Myer Bryggs. Anyways, great blog, definitely subscribed to keep updated 🙂
Regarding your question, it is very normal for INFJs to be intellectually inclined and very socially aware. Yes, I would say that INFJs are often very mature for their age in the realm of insights into human nature and being very self and other-aware.
Good professions for INFJs are ones that call into activity their dominant and auxiliary functions of introverted intuition and extraverted feeling respectively. I would not recommend an INFJ to pursue software engineering and I give some reasons why in my article on tertiary temptation in the INFJ. It is in the INFJ section of the website. Many INFJs are tempted by their tertiary introverted thinking into pursuing technical careers and I generally think it is a bad idea. That being said, if you really have a burning drive to pursue it, go ahead. Some INFJs that have pursued technical careers have written to me and most of them seem to report that they are burned out by the culture of technology and the lack of the human/artistic/psychological element.
International Relations, on the other hand, could be a great career for an INFJ. For one thing, it is a very broad degree, so it can be applied to many different careers. Check for the extraverted feeling. It also deals with diplomacy between nations and the broad effect that very large entities have on each other. So, yeah, that sounds like an excellent career/degree for an INFJ. I think the interdisciplinary nature of the degree makes it a particularly good fit for an INFJ. INFJs are often intellectual but in a wide-ranging sense. They are not specialists by nature like, say, an INTP could be.
So, something as confining in scope as software engineering wouldn’t likely allow free-range to the INFJ’s top two abilities, especially the extraverted feeling, which is very important, maybe even more important than their dominant introverted intuition in a career sense. Basically, an INFJ needs a career that uses extraverted feeling backed by dominant Ni. The reason for this is INFJs will often bypass their auxiliary Fe in favor of their tertiary Ti. This is in a word, “bad”. Going into programming will cater to this tendency of INFJs and it is quite common I think for an INFJ to consider that very career, especially in today’s economy. But, I would say steer clear of it and go for a career that involves some kind of humanistic element. I think INFJs will be very unhappy sooner or later in a career that doesn’t have this human element.
Some other good careers for INFJs are anything to do with psychology, writing, teaching, artistic expression of all varieties, journalism, diplomacy, political science, and philosophy. Anything that is too specialized or low-level they should try to avoid. They are great in sciences as long as they can engage in high-level thinking in regards to it, but not in the nuts and bolts application of those things. Things that are overly mechanical, technical, and corporate will tend to be bad areas for them. INFJs want to do something that involves thinking and humanistic expression and application. Human issues essentially. Hope that helps.
This helped, a lot. Thank you!! Just found out about this blog, but in all honestly I’m in love with it. You have wonderful insights.
“ENFJs, instead of having introverted intuition at the dominant, have extraverted feeling. This is rather simple in a way. Where introverted intuition as a dominant says, “Who am I?”, searching inside for eternity and infinity to find a never-ending array of possibilities and meanings, extraverted feeling as a dominant says, “Take a look around your culture, see what type of personalities prevail in that culture and adopt some of those as reference points for your identity and ego-containment. Whichever ones float your boat. And also the ones that are approved of by society, in some sense.
Then introverted intuition comes in and says, “Fuck that, rebel. I’m gonna be my own person. And make a point of it. I’m gonna be such an individual in personality projection that people will not mistake me as someone who is just gonna be a comformist.” Something like that.”
that’s a great description! I know some ENFJs very closely, and yes, that’s exactly the dynamic! but nevertheless, they can be quite obsessed with the issue of identity, who am I really, because they feel this burning difference between their varying social persona (which, to be honest, are not that different after all -> an ENTP is much more likely to be described in completely different terms by different people, while at the end of the day, everyone describes an ENFJ in more or less the same way, just pointing out different aspects … but somehow, the fact that you need to act differently in different social settings is a much bigger issue for them, while I, for example, don’t really see what’s the big deal about that)
This is so brilliant (the comments to that 13 year old especially). I’m in my early 30s, an INFJ, and I have finally figured out how to manifest – kind of by accident. I think it can be helpful to tell INFJs, “stop trying to figure out who meant to be, just express yourself and in the act of doing you will become you already are.” But I don’t know if someone had told me that 10 years ago I would have really understood it. You have to live it or live your way into it.
Just to recap my life in stages (because I think it relates to much of the above and what I’ve read elsewhere on this website):
1) In my childhood I was crazy precocious and much preferred talking to adults than children my own age. Kids seemed boring and, well, childish. Especially when I was really young – 4, 5. I had a vivid imagination and would often recruit neighborhood kids into my schemes. I was bossy and something of a leader, but not because of any kind of outward charisma that makes one popular. More in a “I know my idea is awesome” kind of way. I had a gift for seeing a platonic ideal in my head and then manifesting it. At this age (9/10/11) it was nothing deep or angsty or difficult to pluck from my head: I was running poker parlors out of my house, and organizing olympic games, and building elaborate forts, and starting businesses. I loved sports. I did not overthink and did not care what anyone else thought. Most of my friends were boys. I never felt weird or alien at that age. I had lots of friends and was completely, naturally myself.
2) Oh adolescence. Life suddenly divided along gender, all my friends became girls, and the business of girls was trying to get noticed by boys. This was an absolutely terrible phase and I really did feel like an alien. Then again, who really LOVED middle school? I tried to become that thing all the other girls were becoming and I was failing at it every day. On some level, I KNEW my values and my interests were different; I was thrilled and terrified by my exciting new friends as much as I was also kind of bored and unfulfilled by them. Most of my girlfriends were ESxPs doing absolutely crazy things. So I tried to up my SE. This manifested in constructing elaborate, often Ni inspired costumes (my school outfits were not styles, they were concepts). This earned me a lot of cred with those popular SPs but my Se required planning and after being surrounded and showered with compliments and acceptance, I never knew quite what to say. I was so, so shy around them, even though if you got me one on one, I could talk forever. The other way it manifested was drinking and drugs at much too young an age. It was the beginning of my bad Se wannabe/reactionary habits that only mellowed out after 25. (INFJs, do not indulge an unhealthy Se in a desire to let go and be like everyone else. Consume SPs in moderation – don’t try to live in their world, as seductive as it might be. It can never be you. If you are drawn to extraverts, surround yourself with ENxPs!)
I also remember there being NO place here for my Fe. Everything was surface and being too cool for school. I think being interested in other people in a meaningful way was somehow frowned upon or at least whenever I brought it out, the message I got was “hey, put that back!” So I did.
3) Eventually I got myself into a super selective high school, abandoned most of my Se longings and focused on my Ti. I found I was incredibly good at school when I wasn’t hanging out with the SPs. I loved the pat on the head I’d get from my teachers when I did well, that reassurance. That student-teacher relationship became the bucket for my ego and I thought, “this is who I am, I’m a good student. I rock at school.”
It was around this time that my Fe came out to play a little more. At my private school, there were a lot more NFs and NTs among the top 10% of the class in which I fell and so for the first time I had real, satisfying friendships. At the same time I did find myself strangely the lynchpin of my social group a lot of the time. It was my friendship with my best friend who was an ENFP that sort of was the core relationship that everyone else orbited. But once I realized that, I ran away and then I came back then I ran away again. I never wanted that pressure of being embedded in dense relationships. I don’t know why I find that such an uncomfortable place to be. And it sucked because I would hurt people when I exited. It was more than just being a crazy, mercurial INFJ. I had deep, deep problems at home that probably would have gotten me put into foster care if anyone really knew the extent of it, and it wasn’t the kind of thing I felt I could be open about with anyone. And not having a mask or a social persona, when things were really bad, I just couldn’t be around other people.
I was talking about Fe coming out – it was really at around 14/15/16 that I started to have that experience of people telling me, “Oh my God, that was the best conversation I’ve ever had in my life.” I felt like I had the ability to open people up and turn them every which way without even trying. Sometimes it was more of an intellectual conversation. Sometimes it was exploring that person’s inner demons. After awhile I started becoming uncomfortable with that role in part because it felt so, so one-sided. I never felt that same connection in return. It was only with folks who could get inside my head and heart and body just as much that I did that I would feel a kind of reciprocity and those folks were rare. I don’t think I’ve ever been truly comfortable with my Fe in part because it draws people toward me in a strong way and then I can’t really deal with closeness unless I really, really, really like, respect, and trust you. And even then, it’s difficult for me to be consistent. So you also need to be someone who understands that, accepts it, won’t judge or get angry at me for that – generally either you’re someone who has a zillion friends or you have a strong independent streak yourself (again, ENxPs!).
4) I gained admission to a top 3 university. Here my best friends were an ESFJ and an ISFP, and an ISFJ and an ESTJ. (Each of these pairs were much closer with each other than they were with me and I was always floating in and out of those dyads.) It felt like a better fit – and they were all much, much smarter and more interesting than anyone I’d ever been friends with before – but I was always that “deep” person who wanted to talk about things. I’d been cast that way my whole life and found it a little annoying. Still? Still that?
I knew in college I wanted to do something humanitarian on a giant scale but I wasn’t sure what. During summers I did a lot of direct service in poor or marginalized communities back in my home town, which made me feel vital and whole, but was completely overwhelming (I am not good at holding another person’s pain especially where I am powerless to transform it. I can hold 1000 people’s pain. But I can never be a counselor.) After college, I lived in Asia and Africa with the idea of becoming a freelance writer. The intensity and instability of it was ultimately too much, but I was definitely in that space of being out in the world talking to people (Fe) and then generating something from that. It was a more true place for me than the path I eventually chose.
5) So wanting more stability, I went on to study for a Ph.D at another top 3 school and was back in that safe teacher-student space. I am in the social sciences, which focuses on human beings in the abstract, although my favorite classes were always statistics. I’m really good at what I do. And it was completely the wrong path for me.
It was a definite mind fuck to be so good at this thing I was doing (academia) and yet be so unhappy and feel so unfulfilled (Ti in the absence of the Fe human element). I felt like I was drifting, not on path, and I was constantly asking myself, “OK, so I can do this thing at a high level, but why, why why? What is the point?” At the same time, I kept trying to write my first book (creative nonfiction) but was failing at it miserably. I was so judgmental, felt so inadequate. I would hone the same paragraph over and over again, getting obsessed with language instead of seeing the big picture story and trying to realize that. I was definitely leading with Ti and I was spinning my wheels.
I don’t regret having such a strongly honed Ti. I think those skills will serve me for the rest of my life. But I completely agree INFJs, to manifest their potential, need to lead with Fe.
Which brings me to the present. First, grad school was amazing for me personally. My closest friends were an ENFP, INFJ and an ENxJ. With the ENFP especially, we’d hang out and then end up on street corners until 2am in the cold, still talking, unable to peel away from each other. It was so incredible to finally feel so deeply understood and to have a friendship with someone who not only understood me, but could also understand certain aspects of me better than I did (and vice versa). I also met and married an ENTP. We are complete and total soulmates. We started a conversation the day we met that I think will go on for the rest of our lives. So INFJs, go find your NTs and your NFs. With the, you won’t have to try so hard. You may even stop questioning who you are because with them, you can be yourself. You won’t feel like an alien, I promise. You’ll feel like a crew of aliens.
I had a catastrophic health event that forced me to leave grad school and left me unable to work or really do anything. My life ground to a halt. And it was the best thing that could ever have happened. I think one of the problems for INFJs is that they need Se stability. So their home and external life needs to be stable and sorted for them to really function properly, even though they aren’t always great at creating it for themselves. They need to not have to worry about finances, etc. A proper job brings that needed structure. However, most INFJs, especially the ones who need to be artists, are never going to manifest themselves in a traditional job. So on the one hand we need to strike out on our own as creative entrepreneurs, and at the same time, that is a scary thing from a stability perspective. My husband and my complete inability, for health reasons, to hold a job even if I wanted to, gave me that freedom. I’m taken care of and even if I weren’t, I don’t have a choice to be part of the world in the same way that I once was. I no longer have the ability to chase myself down all these wrong Ti/Se paths.
I felt in my illness I had this really important story to tell, so that’s what I started doing. It’s been all instinct, all Fe the entire time: me listening to 1000s of people of met online with similar experiences and then channeling all that into this big film project. Film actually feels like a much more natural storytelling medium for me because I can just focus on the form and the story. There’s no place to get hung up/self-critical on language because it’s just not part of the medium. I have never made a film before, have no formal training, but felt so passionately that this had to be done for big, save the world because people are hurting kind of way that there was no room for self-doubt. I was serving a purpose large, clear, and outside of myself – Ni existential doubt spirals have no power here. And so I just pushed, raised a lot of money I have no idea how, need to raise a lot more, I have no idea how, and am basically in a position in terms of the early success of the film where some people spend their whole careers trying to get. It’s nuts. But I’m just doing it. I have had no existential crises. ZERO. No “oh my god, am I good enough? Can I really manifest this thing?” I’m also working in a team and so I can rely on others to do what they’re really good at. It’s not all on me and having that team allows me to be consistent, to keep moving forward, not in one great leap, but slow and steady.
At any rate, I now know that I am supposed to be creating self-expressive products for the larger world, using my Fe in a one to many kind of way, flowing, moving, not questioning, deconstructing, just doing. Because I figure it out. I can’t even explain to myself how, but I always do. I think (and I can’t speak for every INFJ) that I need to have a very clear vision of where I want to get to, and as long as I have that vision, as long as move toward it, not worry about knowing in advance how I’m going to get there, I will get there and do it very well. You’re right Ni is the engine. Ni is a genie, more powerful than my own conscious self. Fe constructs the vision, tells Ni, “Here is where we need to go, so get us there.” There’s just no way Ti can get me there. If anything it’s the brake – which is important in moderation. I absolutely need to explain to myself (and others) what I’m doing and why. Without Ti I’d be all emotion and energy and I think things could get a little too nuts. But Ti is limited both in its ability to envision/construct and in its ability to do.
The film is soooo Fe, so empathic. I showed folks in the industry a trailer recently and I was able get people from laughing out loud or grinning to sobbing within three minutes. It’s incredible. It’s what I’ve always wanted to do and I think the biggest gift of having this experience is that whatever I do in the future, I know I won’t make the same mistakes again. I know how to get there because I know what it feels like to be on the right path, to have my functions in the right positions, to be in this flow. And so I have an incredible amount of confidence in myself now that comes from not thinking but just doing.
The big area of growth that remains for me is bringing out my Fe in personal relationships. It’s hard because so many of my family are just unhealthy and have harmed me a lot over the course of my life and I’ve retreated into myself to a large extent (a combination of those experiences plus my very strange, lifelong pursuit of S’s). I know better now, but I do think I am a fundamentally selfish, self-contained person. I can create works that help millions of people in some diffuse way but it’s hard for me to really be present with just one person. I don’t blame myself for that because I know that’s what I need, but I also need people, and so I want to learn how not to self-protect to quite that extent. I’ve read elsewhere that this is actually where Ti is important for INFJs. Ti helps us to draw boundaries. If we go straight there we can be total dicks, but if we lead with Fe in personal relationships, but with strong boundaries that we communicate both to ourselves and others, then we can stay in that Fe state more consistently and not fall into that advance-retreat cycle. I think part of drawing those boundaries *is* to cultivate a certain distance from most people, to not go around projecting your Fe willy-nilly, to resist the urge to be everyone’s chameleon, and to be very choosy about when to bring out Fe. I should bring out Fe only with the people I know I want to commit to, so that I am not falsely advertising my availability and feeling guilty when I fail to show up. Those are the rare few with whom I don’t feel like I need to contort myself, the folks with whom my Fe can be a true reflection of who I really am. Because I will never be able to maintain ten semi-close friendships at once. If I can have my partner, my sister, and one or two close friends, that’s more than enough. And I better make sure that the folks I choose are naturally compatible with me – again, ENxPs – who understand my turtle-like nature because they either have a zillion other friends (so are too busy to exactly feel abandoned) or they have a strong need for independence themselves.
And on Se – I am trying to do more mindfulness meditation essentially to balance out my Ni. I do think it’s very important for INJFs to bring themselves back into their bodies on a regular basis. If I were well, I’d run. But I know that eating on time and taking care of my physical space will always be a challenge. Se is something I do when I need to take a break from my Ni as opposed to something I keep up in a consistent and scheduled way. I think if you can build a life that allows for this (in terms of financial resources), hire someone who can help with your Se needs. At least for me, it allows me more time to live in Ni/Fe and to manifest my creative works.
Fe+Se is really how I play. I am really great at decorating, cooking, gardening and at throwing a party – I love to create a beautiful space for others’ delight and comfort. I get into this mode when I need a break from my Ni but I notice I can’t stay here very long. It doesn’t ultimately feel fulfilling because it’s not important or “deep” enough. So while I am *really* good at the above, I would never choose these hobbies as a profession.
Anyway, I know this is long, long, long but I hope certain aspects of my story might help other INFJs at different stages of their growth. I’d love to hear others’ experiences and in particular anyone who has wrestled and come to peace with that challenge of managing personal relationships.
Blake, what type are you?
Wow!
Well, INFJs of the world, here is the life story of one of your kind. And as you can see, she has things to say. So, you might want to listen up.
As regarding my type…well, that will just have to be a mystery. This is a stellar maze after all.
I know! But you blew my mind.
This is really mind blowing to read. I was smiling and frowing at certain points.
I especially get the part on cooking and decorating being a good out for Fe but not feeling deep enough. I used to love makeup as an artistic expression, still do but once I tried it as a career, it got old really fast.
I absolutely obsess over psychology but I fear getting sucked into other people’s life if that makes any sense. So I dropped that too as a potential career path.
I’m currently on interior design, sometimes it feels too shallow like I’m not making a difference in the world with it. In my ideal alternate orbit, maybe I’ll be building or designing things that make a change on a ‘greater’ level.
I really recently took up the morning pages after seeing that recommendation here and it really does help, in a way I can’t quite explain. I find myself wanting to write more when I get to the third page although for some weird reason my hands physically seem to get tired but I have so much more to ‘say’. I can’t imagine writing for 30mins straight though. I should give it a try.
The only hobby I remember from growing up is reading, all kinds of reading and writing short stories. Or picking random words from the dictionary and making a coherent plot out of them. It was fun. I still do want to write but no idea what to write on other than maybe nutrition or weight loss which after a life long struggle I eventually hacked my way into a lazy method. But the critic in me says, you’ve got no cred to tell people how to lose weight.
So I think maybe I should go do a short course on nutrition then I’ll have ‘approval’ to write on it’
Relationships with people are all over the place. I had a pattern of attracting narcissists to myself. Keeping them around for a while even though I could see through their antics and when I did eventually call them out on their BS, a fallout out and a door slam naturally ensues.
The loneliness for having someone to pour out ones thoughts to without censoring can be real and overwhelming. I find with meeting new people, I either get on with them immediately or not at all.
I can usually sense who I’ll be friends with, whether it’ll be a good one or bad one comes shortly after first interaction but on sight I get a vibe that tells me if this person will play a scene in my life of not.
Sometimes I test it by doing absolutely nothing and wait for them to walk into my life . And it wil happen, sometimes days or even months after that first thought.
Enough of the rambling. This is my first comment thanks to yours. Blake your site is beyond amazing. I don’t know if it’s helping or hurting my information addiction but I’m telling myself this is good info.
A question Blake, how do I shut my thoughts off. I don’t know if it’s an INFJ thing (I don’t even have 100% confirmation that I am) but I have this weird thing that happens when I’m supposed to be asleep; I’m still going over stuff in my head while one part of my brain is going “stop ruminating! Sleep” and the back and forth goes on until maybe I start counting backwards from 100 and then blank out eventually until shortly before its time to wake up again.
Seeing as you’re into astrology which I’m also currently obsessed with! I wonder if it’s my sun and Mercury in 12th house cancer messing with my mind. Or my 6th hide Capricorn moon.
Also, in as much as I really really do want to help people I also feel I won’t be satisfied unless I can also make bucket loads of money either through it or in another way. So ideally, I’d be a philanthropic business woman who’s a patron of the arts.
Ok I’m out. Fingers going numb. Kisses Blake!
A question Blake, how do I shut my thoughts off.
Take up meditation. Meditation is designed to still the mind. And it works if you practice it a consistent basis.
You could consider counting backwards from a hundred a form of “mantra” that keeps you focused and stills the mind from taking you away on thought strands. I actually do that sometimes too as a mantra when I meditate, except I’ll skip every other number, so if I start at 100, I’ll go to 98, 96, 94 etc. then I’ll come back up the same way. Then, I’ll repeat the backwards sequence starting on 99 and then count back through all the odd numbers until I reach 1.
I like it. It does the job. If I do that for a few cycles and concentrate on breathing deeply in and out during the countdown (and countup), I find myself in a very relaxed state free of unwanted thoughts.
Seeing as you’re into astrology which I’m also currently obsessed with! I wonder if it’s my sun and Mercury in 12th house cancer messing with my mind. Or my 6th hide Capricorn moon.
No, it’s mostly just being an INFJ with all the implications of Ti in excess. Gorging on information while at the same time having no way to discharge/express yourself.
Meditation is an excellent antidote to information overload. Morning Pages is an excellent discharging/expressing practice for INFJs.
And so is simple physical exercise in a sporting activity of the INFJ’s preference done, say, 3x times a week for 40-60 minutes at a time, some kind of physical exercise that gets your heart rate up for at least 30-40 minutes.
Don’t overdo it.
Don’t underdo it.
Etc.
Thanks for the kisses 🙂
Thank you for your response! Does a walking meditation count? With the normal meditation style, I find it incredibly hard to sit still and do nothing. Will an ‘active’ meditation provide same benefit?
I recommend some form of yoga in conjunction with a meditative practice. I often combine them together so I am moving toward and away from meditative stillness in relative degrees. I might start out with some yoga, then move into a sitting pose, begin meditation with some form of mantra such as counting, but, it could also be a visualization (relatively simple visualization like concentrating on seeing a shape or simple object in mind’s eye), or I might concentrate on my bodily sensations and breathing and rove over my body mentally and relax each part to its utmost. At some point, I may start to leave the meditation when I feel sufficiently still and relaxed and begin to move slowly again and start doing some yoga poses to finish the session.
In short, be flexible (heh) and tailor the basic gist of what meditation is to work for you. If you find walking meditation to be effective in stilling your mind, then do that. Walking is good in and of itself. I enjoy walks in nature and find that it stills the mind. Or you could walk and concentrate on something that serves as a mantra such as a sound that you repeat to yourself internally or slightly externally (saying “OM” repeatedly is something I do frequently – it has an opening effect). Sometimes when I walk I find myself counting out a rhythm in 4/4 time to each of my footsteps (1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 1, 2, 3 and 4 and so on). That can have a meditative effect.
There’s all kinds of possibilities for getting out of your head when you think about it (O, that’s golden!)
Thank you ????
Blake! Never heard you talk about INFJs and exercise. YASS! SOCCER!!
Also, what the hell with the INFJ always needing to tweak and do shit in moderation (“don’t underdo, don’t overdo”) – BOO
The whole INFJ doing drugs thing comes to mind…
Blake, this whole blog seriously rocks! It’s a wonderful mix of very deep insights and very beautiful poetry, with even some romance too! So keep on rockin’!
I’m a male INFJ, in the end of my PhD in robotics / artificial intelligence (AI). I started all this because the idea of working with AI, understanding the brain and building one for a robot, or something along these lines, was very, very attractive to me! But, I ended up in the situation, now a “classic” around here, of the “INFJ trapped in an introverted scientific career”.
When I started the actual PhD, I immediatelly realized something was very wrong. I didn’t understand people around me, and they didn’t understand me. Communicating was very hard and tiring. For the first time in my entire life, I felt way more stupid and less capable than my colleagues. I felt useless. The culture of the department was to “use these silly AI concepts to make these awesome robots work”, instead of “use these silly robots to understand these awesome AI concepts”. Their ideas sounded boring and cumbersome to me, and my ideas sounded boring, cumbersome, and useless, to them.
Nowadays, I understand a bit better all of this. To start with, there are three ISTPs very close to me: one is my advisor (male), another one my “house-mate” (female), and another one a close colleague, working under the same advisor and on a very close topic (male). Then, my other house-mate (we’re three) is a male ISTJ (maybe even ESTJ). Probably, there’re lots of INTPs and INTJs spread around too, but these are more difficult for me to detect, and they are not so important in my life as the STs. Oh, there’s also a male ESTP who joined the group later, but he’s a bit more distant.
To conclude, I feel as if, in terms of the functions, if I use Ni+Fe, I’m simply invisible to these people, or even worse, a negative “weird”. It simply doesn’t affect them. On the other hand, if I use Fe+Ti, I’m laughable to them, since they are all dominant or auxiliary thinkers and come to their conclusions much faster than me.
Thanks Artur for the encouragement to keep on rockin. Very nice.
And thanks for sharing your story of an INFJ in the AI world. Very interesting to hear your perspective on this. Yeah, it’s hard for an INFJ to put that much reliance on their Ti tertiary. But, shit, you’ve come as far as almost finishing a PhD in robotics/AI. That is very impressive! You should be proud of yourself.
Also, thanks for your donation. I much appreciate it.
Learn to use Te!!! I highly recommend the book “8 Keys to Self Leadership” by Dario Nardi. I believe you have to get a paperback or hardcover–it was not available in Kindle edition as of last summer. The book shows you how to develop (and recognize) each one of the functions. So cool I could FINALLY deal with the ESTJ, INTJ and ESFJ people who rule at work.
Hi, Blake!
I’m coming back to this post after all this time because I have some good news: I made it, I finished my thesis, it was accepted and now I will soon receive my PhD title!
Thank you. I owe a lot of this accomplishment to you, your writings, and your ideas, shared with us here. For a while, I was so, so close to not obtaining the PhD, because I didn’t have enough material, neither the inspiration, neither the time to write the thesis.
I learned a lot here. The most decisive point of all was your amazing insight about the importance of the auxiliary function for any type, and for INFJs in particular. As a INFJ myself, I started paying more attention to the auxiliary Fe, trying to focus on it, and slowly but surely, I started understanding it, and seeing that it was, indeed, magic. Like you say, Fe leads to the solar path for INFJs.
During the thesis, I was trying to adopt the ST style that most people in robotics adopt. I was trying to be an ISTP, like my advisor and closest colleagues were. It was not at all clear for me that I should just ignore all that and follow my NF style. Like you said, using Fe seemed somehow silly, ackward, and not capable of getting things done in the right way. But it was. Although it was not easy to redirect my life towards the Fe path, I made the initial change. I changed roads, and now it is a matter of sticking to this road to see where it will lead.
I would like to confirm basically everything you said about Fe for INFJs. It has the power to end with all the existential Ni crises. It is able to produce something, independently of the quality or quantity: the thing gets done, somehow. It is easier, more consistent and much less tiring and stressful than adopting a Ti mode, or falling into an inferior Se mode. Moreover, relying on Ni and Fe most of the time, Ti and Se come naturally in at some points, the crucial points. Naturally. Just like you pointed out. I would say life becomes somehow a less concious, more automatic, task. With Fe, it all just flows.
I’m very much thankful for all of your inspiring and guiding articles. Even if I have never actually consulted with you, I thought I had to donate the equivalent of one consultation, at least. However, I think it all was worth many consultations. In fact, during all this time I was also consulting in person with a psychologist, probably an ENFJ. She helped me a lot too. But still, Stellar Maze was decisive.
So all the best for you, and for Stellar Maze!
Congratulations!!
You know what is funny? When I saw your (very generous) donation come in yesterday morning via my Paypal app., my first thought was “Artur must have just got his doctorate.”
And lo and behold, I come here, and indeed, that is the case.
Well, congratulations man. I really mean that. I wish you all the best in your new status as a doctor of robotics. And I’m glad that those Fe articles paid off for you. That makes me happy.
Bravo Artur! Wonderful and inspiring comeback. I am proud of you, too and encouraged.
COMING SOON! TESTIMONIALS PAGE!
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<3
O, would you like to testify sista?
Hi Artur,
Do you mind sharing how exactly you used Fe to accomplish Ti tasks? Did you start exercising Fe type stuff (ie making art, socializing, helping people) outside of your thesis, which somehow made the process of writing it so much easier in an unexpected way; or did you somehow use Fe in the process of writing itself (maybe by randomly writing without worrying about the argument you are trying to make etc)? I’m interested – I’m a sociology college student and sense a potential INFJ-specific studying hack here… 🙂
I am sure that i am an INFJ, and im currently in my third year of psychology, but im not by all means at the top of my class.
OK…so? What are you trying to say?
Hey Blake,
I wish you didn’t have to ask that we make donations, I feel as though it devalues the already priceless articles due to their unique insight ( The last ENFP one you did…my sister who am close to is an ENFP but sometimes I don’t understand her need to act or be perceived a certain way by other people…I was glad to learn that that’s because she is a cool kid…but no one gets me like her) But I don’t think that’s for me to decide, so I apologize.
But this is my first “go-with-flow” am doing per your advice above. This is the second time
I wish I didn’t have to ask for donations either. However, I also want to be compensated for the time I spend and the value I offer. If you can think of a way around this, let me know. Also, thanks for the generous donations you have made to Stellar Maze. If more people were like you, I wouldn’t have to ask for donations. But, that’s the nature of the beast.
I hear, no worries though! Thank you once again for the value you provide!
Infj/go with the flow…
I just erased a whole 5min give or take of typing (slow typing though) and now I have to do it again. But anyhow, I just wanted to say thanks again Blake…I feel much better too, this is a re-read. The first time was 2 months ago? I couldn’t resist finding/seeking the answer to the “who am I now?” question again. So this is my 2nd attempt at the semi-free flow writing …will have to work on consistency now.
Well, what drew me to the article first was the enfj/infj title. I just finally figured out this afternoon that my RN nurse preceptor is enfj. I started at the hospital/night shift about 3 wks ago, and I have another 2 wks training to go. The first time I met her I felt an instant ‘deep’ connection with her. So I immediately thought infj. She was really warm and accepting and kind. And I saw how she connected with the rest of the nurses on the floor, when she spoke with them, and how they seemed to respond back to her with the same niceness and warmth/genuineness. I just knew Infj.
But as the wks progressed it just didn’t fit. She had to definitely be an extrovert, because no introvert had the energy to talk to that many people throughout the night and still continue to seek them out night after night for some extended conversations. She wasn’t loud or that sort of thing, but at 4am in the morning? Couldn’t imagine what would be so “let’s chat now” at that time, if I came in at 6:30pm the night before. I know it sounds judgy, it is, but I have worked night shift before, and there is an hour all introverts resign to doing their own little things, ignoring each other, with no hard feelings.
The second thing, was that she wore her emotions on her sleeve, good or bad or just mean, and then went on to act “frustrated/mean/belittling/a bit impatient” with me [when she wasn’t being super kind]…when I was a little slow in getting something or in doing something. Forgive me, but am still in training for starters, and 2nd don’t be rude, never be rude to another person there is never an excuse for it. Lastly, I know myself and I have heard this from other infjs too, at least in the chat forums, that we take a little while to learn something initially…but that’s because we are asking all these qns, trying to figure out how things work out/connect to each other. When I can build that initial framework/base knowledge, that allows everything else to flow, from then on I got it. I don’t need to keep asking for help, I have an idea where I need to go to get it…I see the big picture. E.g. Here nurse’s desks…here med charts…here dictation rooms…here the med room but there are 2 others on the other side but hold only these kinds of meds….ok you get the drift. A lot of information I need to store, and make connections with, like if I don’t find this here maybe try there or go there…not to mention charting and giving meds/IVs and bedside care/procedures.
I know that my Fe will enjoy being here, we have been waiting a year. I just need to get over that initial bump. So, like I said earlier, right after the meaness, she would be real nice/ I forgave her. But the behavior seemed to escalate the next 1- 2 days. I had to lay the law down, no way I was going to rush and give the wrong meds to the wrong person at the wrong time or sthg dramatic like that. I said hey, you have to give me time…am not going to rush and make an error just so I can look good/on-time! I know it will all come together, I just need to be patient. This I saw took her off guard, but I knew I did the right/assertive thing.
Well, now my fear is that I might have overreached with her. That she seemed a little off as an infj, because she really was an extrovert, with Fe-in (another thing I could tell about her…it’s like she pulled answers to qns she got asked…out thin air without like evidence or explanations). So my worry is, For ENFJs…isn’t it counterproductive to play “power” games with them? Aren’t they like the ultimate teacher? That though she took it well/ I thought at the time, that was not a smart move on my part? My mum is an enfj…and that game of “am the controller” is one she’s adept at. Or is this paranoia? Thoughts? I would really appreciate it thanks. Could I be bypassing Fe, and going directly to Ti…in my attempt to learn the system safely now and not tomorrow…so this might be the main problem?
Am sorry, it got this long. Thanks!
Rachel
Is it counterproductive to play “power” games with ENFJs?
Well, I see two issues. You were trying to stand up for yourself and your own concerns in the performance of your job. The issue you were having is that if you feel like you are going too fast, then you might administer the wrong medications.
On the other hand, her job sounds like to meet the time constraints of the hospital and to make sure that everything is done in a timely fashion.
I don’t know enough about this woman from what you have told me. For example, she may not care that it will all work out if you do it your way, she may just want it to be done her way because she doesn’t want to be wrong. Or have her power challenged.
And yes, many ENFJs are like this, especially if they are enneatype 8.
It is a funny thing about type 8. Yeah, you can back down from them and let them be master. But, then they are liable to push you around because they know you will put up with it. If you stand up to them they will tend to respect you for it. Of course, if you take it too far, by challenging their power, they are likely to react (or overreact) very vehemently. But, you are really just trying to defend your own ground. As long as you can get your job done satisfactorily, I don’t see a problem. Will she? I don’t know. Depends how much of a “power mad” person she is. I don’t know how she is seeing it. ENFJs will often come on strong, but they don’t necessarily mean anything deep by it. They just have fiesty and choleric type personalities. And when they are in charge of a concern, they demand excellence from themselves, and by extension, the others in their command (or whatever).
You said you know you did the right thing by being assertive. I think you did too. How she takes it is of secondary concern. I think it is important for you to stand up for yourself. Others that are less sensitive might not have any idea of your concerns unless you state them boldly.
Regarding the concern that you may be bypassing Fe for Ti in a drive to learn all the ins and outs of the system before you go into action, there may be some of this, but, you have to be realistic. Some people are great if you give them a few prompts regarding what they should do in their duties and they just jump right in. Others don’t. INFJs, like you said, often need a while to get up to speed because they are absorbing and storing and soaking up everything by osmosis. In other words, it is a much more intensive process for an INFJ because they want to know everything, and many of those things would be relatively unimportant to an extravert.
Anyway, hope that answered your questions. Best of luck to you in your nursing career.
Thank you, am hoping it goes well too. And yes you have, thanks a lot too for that!
Thanks Blake, your insights into INFJs are amazing. I have never felt so understood in my life. Especially the article on Fi, and the temptation of Ti. I have actually disintegrated into depression via all this. A bloody nightmare.
And only because I didn’t get anything out via Fe. A book about mindfulness got me out of it actually.
I, unfortunately, studied Computer Science and followed a Ti career although I actually work on data warehouse design, which combines design (Ni) with giving users data in a digestible way (sort of Fe).
I have always been attracted to the arts and I totally agree about expressing ourselves. You inspired me so I wrote a poem the other day when I was hurting:
Connect me to my senses
Connect me to my heart
I don’t want to feel the void
I don’t want to fall apart
Take me away to the theatre
Take me away holding hands
I want to stay now, all present
I want to forget who I am
Please don’t suppress your feelings
Please make me feel like a star
At night when it is all quiet
I want our hearts to touch
Connect me to my senses
Connect me to my heart
I don’t want to drift away in sorrow
I want to stay intact
My shell is like an armour
my own personal jail
Don’t let me get locked inside it
Don’t let me feel the pain
Writing is my only solace
Writing is my one true love
I know you don’t want to hear it
but I am all the way flawed
Connect me to my senses
Connect me to my heart
Come and take me outside
I want to feel ajar
When I hear your voice I shiver
When I see you my heart jumps
I want to lay beside you
I want to share the night
Please take me out of my sorrow
Please make me forget the pain
When life feels like there is no tomorrow
I want to feel the rain
Hi Yolanda,
That’s a beautiful poem. Thank you very much for sharing that.
Blake, can I make a suggestion? Gather all your comments in an ebook, there’s so much valuable stuff spread across the comment section. It’s hard to keep track of all your comments, it would be so nice to have them all in one place. I would pay for that, seriously, your comments are just as good as the articles and they go into more detail. Think about it.
” INFJs want to do something that involves thinking and
humanistic expression and application. Human issues essentially. ”
Do you think pursuing degree in macroeconomics can be a good option for INFJs as it require thinking and it is also related with human issues. And more importantly they won’t have to deal with technology or mechanism.
Yes, Macroeconomics seems reasonable for an INFJ, as long as it’s “macro”.
Yes, Blake!
I want an e-book!
Lots of ’em!
mwah
Blake,
Everywhere on the net, it says that Agatha Christie is an INFJ.
But I don’t think so, and never did.
For sure she is a T.
Perhaps an INTJ?
What do you think?
Um, I don’t think she was an INFJ based on my (very limited) knowledge of her. Yes, probaly a T type, quite likely an INTJ, but, at any rate, not an INFJ, unless there is something that I am missing about her from a rather cursory glance.
Sometimes INFJs will fool you so bad, it’s nearly unbelievable. Like, there they are hiding out in some completely turncoat persona.
As Hamlet said, “We defy augury”.
However, I think it unlikely that she was an INFJ, and if she were, she was certainly not a typical instance of the type. That’s all I feel safe saying at this point.
@Blake – can you point to any female writers/artists you feel somewhat confident are/were INFJs? I’m very curious what that might look like from the outside and terrible at guessing. Thanks.
I’m curious about the two writers Octavia Butler and Ursula LeGuin, who both write/wrote literary science fiction that was very much about emotional dynamics and cultural norms in collision. Would that possibly be in the INFJ wheelhouse for someone writing that type of thing?
Can you point to any female writers/artists you feel somewhat confident are/were INFJs?
Yes, two writers come immediately to mind that I’m very confident were/are INFJ. Check out Camille Paglia notable for writing the book Sexual Personae and Alice Sheldon who wrote under the pseudonym James Tiptree Jr.
Sheldon I am familiar with by a collection of short stories that goes by the name Warm Worlds and Otherwise. It could be loosely termed science-fiction writing but there is much more going on than that genre often encompasses.
The title alone (Warm Worlds and Otherwise) is dead-center INFJ. Like Bob Dylan could be no other type except INFJ for his song titles alone (Queen Jane Approximately, Positively 4th Street, Subterranean Homesick Blues, Stuck Inside of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again etc.)
It’s a similar thing with these women and how they use language. In my opinion, no other type is capable of writing like that. See my INFJ + Gemini = Bob Dylan Approximately article to clarify my position on this.
I’m curious about the two writers Octavia Butler and Ursula LeGuin, who both write/wrote literary science fiction that was very much about emotional dynamics and cultural norms in collision. Would that possibly be in the INFJ wheelhouse for someone writing that type of thing?
Yes, that would be a very likely wheelhouse for an INFJ to inhabit. Alice Sheldon inhabits just that very slot I do believe.
I’m not too familiar with Octavia Butler or Ursula LeGuin, so I wouldn’t feel confident making any assertion on their type at this point. But, science fiction with emotional dynamics and cultural commentary is a very INFJ territory.
I would add Robin Hobb to this writing style of emotional dynamics and cultural commentary. INFJ, I think. I’ve read most of what she has written and met her twice.
Do not miss her work. Also goes by Meghan Lindholm for some of her work.
@Blake and @SeeTheElephant, I feel pretty sure from reading LeGuin’s writings that she’s an INFJ.
I do think L.M. Montgomery, who wrote the Anne of Green Gables series, was probably one as well. It’s not as obvious from the famous Anne books (which, if I’m recalling correctly, she didn’t really enjoy writing), but a lot of her short stories and a few of her other novels give off that vibe, especially the ones she wrote later in life, during which she went on some downward spiral of depression.
I don’t know that a lot of people would agree, but that’s what I think.
@Blake – thanks, that’s perfect. I’ve read Tiptree’s collection “Her Smoke Rose Up Forever”. She was still publishing under a male identity at that point, I think, and it’s sort of wild to me that people didn’t see what was going on, because so much of it is about female rage against the machine, and the inescapable brutality of love. Some of the story titles are “We Who Stole the Dream”, “Love Is The Plan The Plan Is Death”, “With Delicate Mad Hands”. All great. You will make yourself sick with sobbing, though.
I think Tiptree/Sheldon is quite similar to Butler and LeGuin in some of her use of language and the themes she writes about. So I guess I can answer my own question here!
One final bit: am I wrong to see a pattern of (female) writers who are INFJ-ish often writing about sexuality? I notice that it’s a pretty strong element (although not in a fun, sexy way, necessarily, I would say darkness lurks at the edges at minimum) in the work of all of the writers mentioned here.
Thanks so much!
One final bit: am I wrong to see a pattern of (female) writers who are INFJ-ish often writing about sexuality? I notice that it’s a pretty strong element (although not in a fun, sexy way, necessarily, I would say darkness lurks at the edges at minimum) in the work of all of the writers mentioned here.
No, you are right as rain! That’s very much what I’m talking about for INFJ throughout – a difficulty with the typical romantic setup in the Western tradition and the ones that are healthy write, express, and question about it. Sexuality is a very heavy theme with INFJs in general.
INFJs want to be owned and like you they have trouble finding someone who is gonna really own their ass. “C’mon daddio, make me feel your sexual power. Make me believe.”
Where you gonna find that sort of thing in today’s neutered meterosexual world of homeless sexuals?
INFJ women have some pretty nasty and fucked up desires. And they are beautiful and are the very stuff that life is made of at the roots.
O, it deserves poetry and filth of a high order.
Did it not give birth to psychology itself?
In short, yeah, INFJ women have a lot of sexuality that they need to express and a shortage of paramours to satisfy her dark desires and poisons and…
her insight into all of it…
it’s a big clusterfuck mess…
I like women who come clean on it
and make it into something academic and wild and worth considering
All those thing mixed up and commingled together
So, yeah, INFJ females + writing = probable expression of many of the elements of her Fi id container via Fe spout.
If you see ESTP female = vanilla sex (fun and light and surface), then INFJ female must be viewed as black licorice sex – warm, dark, and chthonic.
She wants to be taken down below or take you there.
“Make me feel your power or get off of me you eunuch!”
I guess this is what I mean when I call INFJ a “hard submissive” (vs. a “soft submissive”). There is a sort of dominance in her desire to submit.
I trust you will know what I mean given your comments throughout this site 🙂
I feel so exposed. I think I’m in love.
You are and that’s good. Hop on 😉
Haha lol you got it. Whatever you want. All I ask is that you please take down my comment. I didn’t realize it was going to show my first and last name. I would like to send this blog as a psycho-educational resource to a client but I can’t ethically as long as my name is attached to that comment lol You know how it is; for professional reasons, I need to be a chameleon lol
Crisis averted. As you can see, I live a hermit lifestyle wherein I am vastly unaware of wtf I am doing here lol
I can’t speak for all INFJ males, but most of the gay males of this type that I have encountered (myself included!) share a similar “hard submissive” type of sexuality.
I strongly suspect that this intensely powerful attraction to the darker expressions of sexuality is a core theme for most INFJs, regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.
You’ve been saying as much for years now, Blake, and I for one have been paying close attention to your keen observations and astute intuitions about INFJ sexuality.
It’s been increasingly clear to me that your articles and comments on this topic are not something you merely pulled out of a hat just for the lolz, but are based on your personal experiences of observing, studying, interacting with (and maybe even screwing!) INFJs of all stripes.
Okay, I made up the “screwing” bit, but only to emphasise that imaginative fantasies about sex are another key element of INFJ sexuality!
The unfortunate tendency of many type enthusiasts to reverently describe INFJs as if we were all fragile and beautiful angels of pure light, sent to Earth on a holy (but ultimately doomed) mission to save humanity from itself, means that our darker, shadow-side is rarely talked about except fir a a few vague hints and allusions; and is therefore poorly understood.
And so we must confuse the hell out of more conventional types in our sexual relationships. who were most likely drawn to whatever side of our personalities was out on display when first we caught their eye……
if INFJ are hard submissive, what would be the type that is soft dominant?
If INFJ’s “hard submissiveness” is a consequence of having Fi as the Id function, then it follows that the opposite would apply to “soft dominants”.
In other words, Te as the Id function, so possibly ESTPs and ENTPs?
I ran some PT information through I Ching to get a yin yang analysis of which types would be hard submissives and which would be soft dominants (as well as soft submissives and hard dominants). Based on the system I borrowed from and my lens, for soft dominants (not to be confused with passive aggressiveness) it is: ISFP, ENTP, INTJ, ENFJ.
This is without regards to placements of cognitive functions. The data was gathered from “worst representation” of each type. I find it to be more accurate because only the correctly typed individuals tend to resonate with the terrible side of their personality, whereas mistypes tend to resonate only with the positive descriptions of PT.
@Stewart @Stephen Sharikov
See Blake’s take on the sexual natures of all MB types! https://www.stellarmaze.com/estj-brick-wall-come-to-life/#comment-10164
Thanks, I was struggling to find where @blake had previously discussed these.
Okay. So the model of types, cognitive functions and the 8 trigrams is inaccurate to the fact? I suppose that makes sense, since these models do not exist prior to human biology, from my point of view.
Life is usually more lopsided like that, lacking balance in its forms.
Arthur,
please tell us how you did Fe.
Thanks
Thank you, Blake
Hmm. Beautiful column. I, myself belong to the INFJ spectrum although I believe in universals , to name one, more so than the typical INFJ.
My cousin, who belongs to the ENFJ spectrum, has a great identity to him. He is very grounded in his identity within our family.
A great difference, between our two spectrums, would be how he verballises Ni , from time to time, whereas I am “in tune” with Ni at any given time at any given moment.
One frustration I have with this is I seem to reply to his “Fun” Ni use with my secondary function Fe. To the ENFJ it seems I have missed a “Fun” moment of family bonding.
To the comments above about a career in psychology: I might be an INJF (who knows! I identify with most of the information presented on that type… but I identify with alot of information presented on alot of types) ANYWAYS my vision entails helping people live as closely to their essence and genuine nature as possible. I believe so many people are miserable because this culture has largely defined feeling and intuition out of existence. So good luck to anybody who functions through these. So, I want to change the guiding principles of psychology as described- very heavy on medicine and making people in to basically robots and generally, in my mind, evil. Or at least show the world what an alienating, estranging, isolating effect the culture is having.
In any case, I spent four brief months working in a psychiatric hospital and oh it was a glorious disaster. I loved the patients. Every last one. I was able to find some way to connect with each one- from the girl missing part of a chromosome to to the supposed catatonic girl to the supposed sociopathic boy. Somehow through stories, poems, drawings, letters, jokes, myths and long lists of books to read when the got out, I felt a genuine spark with them all. Needless to say, administration was not pleased as I’m pretty sure exploring Eskimo mythology is not considered a credible form of intervention.
After four months and a laundry list of complaints against me that I take as my badge of honor the fired me. But, horrified as I was at the treatment of the patients, I’m now setting out to create a practice where hurting people are honored as they truly are. I don’t necessarily want to help people get better and fit in. I just want them to be genuine. Genuinely fucked if need be. I just want to get them out of the hell of trying so hard to fit into a totally fucked system. People asked me if it was hard working with supposedly crazy people in the hospital… I tell them the crazy ones are much more sane to me than the philistine excuses of human beings supposedly trying to help them.
I was privileged to have an experience elsewhere, co-leading a workshop with a therapist I deeply respect. Here, I had full reign to let my intuition fly while working with people. What absolute magic! All of the vibes/energies/information I pick up on people in day to day life and have no use for I was able to channel for a purpose. It was like being a composer living in a world without sound and then hearing music for the first time- and playing an instrument for the first time and it all just fits perfectly. Like a fish returned to water. And oh, how people light up when somebody can see them for who they are underneath all the bullshit. And speak to that essence, even when it is covered up. Even if it is painful. It is magic. Pure magic. If I was made to do anything it is this- to uncover what is true and genuine in a world that is largely false.
So, I personally believe that an INFJ could find fulfillment in psychology… but it probably entails working for themselves and creating their own way in the end. Wading through alot of monotony on the way.
Very elucidating comment. Thanks!
I resonate 100% with your experience. I worked as a Mental Health Support Worker and felt exactly as you described. This was in the mid 1990’s and at midlife I now have a deeper understanding of how I felt back then. I couldn’t have articulated it as beautifully as you have and I appreciate you putting words to my experience. If you read this please reply as I’d love to get into conversation with you. Thanks, Helen x
Blake, love the dialog thread on this piece. Your writing is a beautiful masterpiece and your insight incredible (there’s my ego stroking to see if I can get a response out of you as an INFJ whisperer from an INFJ in a massive downward spiral).
Soooo, if Fe is our savior but we take on others emotions and pain how do we protect ourselves? And if we are so afraid of our depths hurting others, how do we express ourselves? And as an introvert, Fe literally wipes me out. I believe that it is the skeleton key as you say, but it is utterly draining especially as a parent that gets minimal alone time. It’s looping until a big awful Se ride filled with the most embarrassing pleasure seeking shameful behavior. Finally get some alone time and Ti…try to figure everything out. How to be the best parent, how to be the perfect wife, friend, etc. How do I just ‘be’ when alone to properly recharge before all the parenting and extroverting madness begins again?
Hate being an INFJ. So pretty on the outside, so fugly evil on the inside. This is why we protect our true identity. No one would love us if they knew what’s truly on the inside.
I appreciate any nuggets of wisdom Blake.
And if we are so afraid of our depths hurting others, how do we express ourselves?
Do morning pages.
You don’t show them to anybody and they work.
Commit to doing them first thing in the morning for 3 months. No matter what, stick with them for that long.
They will change your life. Simple. All you have to do is do it. Just this.
These morning pages allow you to express without having to please anyone or be perfect. They are designed to circumvent thinking before expressing.
This, in one form or another, is the key for a blocked INFJ.
But, you must do it and not merely entertain the idea.
And you just have to do this one thing. And stay with it for the time you committed to (3 months is good to give it a fair chance).
Read my articles on Fe solution for INFJ as well as Te minimums for INFJ (on side menu under Myers-Briggs) and get cracking.
Stop making excuses for why you can’t do it. Wake up 30 minutes earlier if need be to give yourself some extra time in the morning. It’s important.
Don’t make it difficult or think that in order to change the situation you have to make all the unsustainable and drastic changes.
The key is to make as few as changes as possible, but, that those changes will be targeted towards the gifts of your temperament.
I think Morning Pages could be the one change that any INFJ makes to their life that gives them massive leverage that 10 other changes that are a poor fit for INFJ temperament couldn’t.
Yes, the key for INFJ lies in expression. They must express what is really going on down below. If you can find a way to do just that, you will be surprised at the results.
When that is happening, a lot of other problems will begin to resolve themselves of their own accord.
I finally figured out one of the people I had been pegging as an INXJ is a Pisces Sun (Fe aux) and Scorpio Moon (Fi id). I know that’s the classic INFJ combo – however, how do I differentiate an INFJ-ish XXXX and an INFJ?
So a little backstory: I want to find other INFJs. I’m lonely. I haven’t even found one other one yet. But I read your blog, and I realized that maybe I’ve been looking at this all wrong. I have to incorporate astrology into this as well.
Okay, so I’m a Capricorn Sun (Se aux)/Sagittarius Moon (Ne id), and I think I’m an INFJ. Perhaps. Maybe I’m just deluding myself into thinking I’m more special than I am. I often interact with others using a falsely saccharine mask – I relate to your descriptions of INFJ women aspiring to be angels, because that is what I’ve been aspiring to be for years and years. I will drop platitudes and cliches easily, while cringing inside that I can’t feel comfortable enough to peel away some of the layers surrounding myself to share to others.
My art is crap. My poetry is blase and superficial. It lacks the depth of this Pieces Sun/Scorpio Moon I’m writing to you about. Her poetry is practically incomprehensible, but it still resonates somehow, at least with me. The school gave her a prize in prose last year. She has a way with words.
Actually, her existence has me questioning my own MBTI designation. Maybe I’m an ISFJ. See, sometimes I feel that I have a lot of depth. Then I will turn around and one day wake up in my bed and realize I am the most superficial person I know, my life story and identity perfectly packaged to convey an ideal. But then I also fail to maintain this ideal in day-to-day life, so maybe I’m just deluding myself by making me sound more clever than I am.
Oh the stress of finals has finally messed with my brain. I can go down all the rabbit holes now, but I can’t even write my English paper.
Your content is insightful, original, and highly entertaining.
Thank you!
My natal chart indicates my traits pretty accurately but always thought the signs and placements implied I was a “balanced” walking contradiction so it was synchronistically reassuring (yet slightly depressing) to find that I tested as an INFJ-A recently.
Is it possible for an INFJ to have been an ENFJ as a child?
My intro/extra spectrum is at 51% to 49%, so curious to know if my N. Node Pisces & IC Pisces could be an indication of this shift
Is it possible for an INFJ to have been an ENFJ as a child?
Yes and no. Your main type is your main type. However, you can have subtypes. Since you’re into astrology, it’ll be easy to understand. Your main type is like your sun sign, which is the core type (who you really are), but then there are two important subtype – the moon type and the rising type. I’ve heard people say I’m an x but I used to be a y. It’s likely that the Moon subtype is what they are talking about when they say “I used to be x type” because the Moon position is the past and where you start out on a fundamental level. You grow into your Sun position. The Sun represents the process of individuation. However, the seeds of this individuation are there from the very beginning.
My intro/extra spectrum is at 51% to 49%, so curious to know if my N. Node Pisces & IC Pisces could be an indication of this shift
First off, I don’t really buy into the way the tests measure percentages of the dichotomies. It doesn’t work that way. But I see what you’re saying – you were more extraverted when a child. I think a lot of the variability of a type has to do with subtypes. And life circumstances.
Anyway, if you follow one thing, follow the sun.
oh dear archangels…your stamina and sincerity in responding to all these messages is insane. Respect.
i’m too much of a lazy jackass and would prob just say “infj? you have a fear of experiencing failures which subconsciously inhibits you from carrying out actions in the physical world. plan all you want, bitches but trying to circumvent ALL potential obstacles preemptively as opposed to PHYSICALLY executing/trying out any plans will only prolong your suffering state as a headcase. then you will most definitely never cross paths with that romanticized concept of your ultimate soulmate (which actually exists) and you will die. alone. bc you know you’re picky af and settling is inconceivable for you”
fear and death are illusions anyway so who knows if that’s even an effective point…i think i’ll stop procrastinating and go take my own advice now.