O, you know I can’t help myself. You know that I’m going to be a meanie when it comes to this earthen urn. And since about zero ESTJs are going to be reading this, I have to cut loose. Somebody has to be the dumping ground for all my ire. It might as well be these administrators of the work-a-day world.
Remember ISTJ. I had kinda described ESTJs as the arbitrary overlords of ISTJs, the latter of whom carries out its orders on a naysaying and arbitrary basis.
Well, so, who is this overlord that ISTJ is beholden to?
The object, that’s who. ISTJ might as well be taking orders from a brick wall. ISTJs are like the mortar that holds those bricks so firmly together.
And what do we know about the object?
It is dumb, inchoate, and just there, you know. It just is.
Let’s take a brief look at the function analysis shall we:
Dominant function = Te = a certain intelligence I suppose, perhaps the intelligence of the object. Te is not really all that intelligent all by its lonesome though. It is more imperious, power-receptive (in the case of a dominant ego-orienting function), wants all its ducks in a row, organizational power, efficient…basically if you give an ESTJ a situation, it starts to organize all the elements and objects in it right away. Forget perception. It perceives a situation of some sort and starts taking the discrete elements in it and ordering them, hierarchizing them, sorting, filtering, filing, allocating, calculating, basically anything that indicates a verbal quality that you can do to something, or someone. Te basically wants to perform a specific and defined action on something or some other.
How do brick walls do this?
Quietly and by a sort of imposing and implacable presence. A brick wall is in your way, you know. It prevents you from getting from a to b. It says, “Better do it my way because trying to get through this here wall that I am is going to be an act of utter futility.
What could get through a brick wall?
A tank. Which is to say, another ESTJ.
You know how bulldogs look? The whole lot of that canine breed are ESTJs.
Getting the picture.
They are all quite implacable and rather silent. Unless you get up under their fur. And then you know what happens.
Bricks are heavy, tanks are heavy and have cannons, and bulldogs will rip your ass to shreds if you bother them in their silent platitudes.
I think ESTJs could be left alone for the most part, like those silent oaks of nature. But, they have this other quality of having to rule in some way. Not in the way of an ENTJ who absolutely has to fucking rule and be king.
ESTJs are actually quite humble, at least as personalities. But, they have this silent background of having to put people and things in their right places. That’s the Te dominance.
Forget bulldogs. How ‘bout bulls? Check out bull behavior. You know, they’re pretty placid until you fuck with them. And then forget about it. Once incited their power is legendary. And rather indiscriminate. And I think people like to fuck with ESTJs because they want to see them fly into a rage. Hey, it’s where they are most exciting. It’s fun to see a flustered and red-faced ESTJ storming down the street like a wrecking ball. I don’t know why. It’s like you just got a boulder pissed off at you or something. Well, gotta have hobbies, ya know.
Those upright pillars of society. Those firmly entrenched institutions that have stood the test of time. Not a jumpy and arrogant ruler like an ENTJ who is trying to satisfy their endless ambition and self-fascination with their own power.
No, here we have the truly impartial judge. They are like fate itself probably was to the Greeks or the Russians. Just something that you run up against when you are transgressing the laws of Nature. It is that eternal “no” of the flighty and megalomaniac. The hysterics and the neurotics. Nerves of steel and a will of stone that is bent more towards the preservation of things as they are. That’s what ESTJs insist on – the rightness of things staying as they are. Unless those things are not in the right order to start with.
Think standardized testing. Think the way most public schools are set up. Think the State with its established channels of getting things done. Chains of command. Right ways to petition. Following set protocols. Law and order.
Yeah, ESTJs aren’t much appreciated. All that stuff is so boring and unglamorous. Such a drag.
I suppose ESTJs are the most fun when they engage that tertiary Ne of theirs. That’s when they lighten up and become gabby and free-spirited. Their almost like regular comics in that mode. And they never stop talking.
And let’s not forget that ESFP id they have. You might be surprised. ESTJs can be some awfully sexually perverse creatures deep inside. And fun. Funny.
No, not really. Um yes, kind of sort of.
I think they are the most fun when they are at their unhealthiest. Fall to the id. Pull to the tertiary. I mean, it’s not really their lot.
They have too much responsibility. The impartiality thing. The last thing you want to see when you are facing a sentence of to 25 years to life is a comic judge. No, they take that shit rather seriously. I think one of the reasons there is such an equitable amount of fairness and lack of bias – objectivity- in the proceeds of highly developed legal systems is due to the ESTJ lack of arbitrariness. It is partly due to that lack of perception that I was alluding to earlier. There is so much ESTJs don’t take into account. They don’t get into all that subjective shit. Watch them grow impatient with long stories of explanation that wander off the matter at hand – your sentencing!
But, they are pretty patient. They are not going to fly off the handle at the slightest transgression like Chef Gordon Ramsay. They will calmly bring you back to the matter at hand. Maybe even somewhat jollily.
O, you know Santa Claus? That’s what I’m talking about. You see that good-natured quality. The protection of the innocents. The showing of love in material form of presents. The quiet rebukes, a sort of cocking of the eyebrow and a sort of quizzical expression directed in the direction of your follies.
Yes, don’t forget the holidays. ESTJs live for special occasions (as long as they are official holidays marked on the calendar).
And that jolly quality. How could I forget. Yes, they can often be grumpy too. Big grumps. But, hey, let’s focus on the positive. Santa Claus right. The good father. The sort of benign all-father and provider. That is an ESTJ mythology, a sort of universalized and beneficent father figure. Santa is a desexualized father. A grandfatherly figure actually. No sex life.
And let’s not forget the moral bent of the whole Christmas saga. There is always some issue of morality with ESTJs. Upstanding and conventionally normative good behavior. O, you hit your sister that lovely day in North Dakota on the 9th of April 1965. ESTJs remember that sort of shit. They’re making a list and checking it twice.
And they’ll remember a particularly good occasion of behavior of persons close to them as well. They are very family-oriented. They are those good providers that come hell or highwater there is always going to be food on the table and their family is going to be taken care of. They pride themselves on their ability to provide materially.
Stoic to be sure. Not at all overtly emotional or affectionate. Well, what would you expect with Fi in the inferior. But, don’t think they are at all unaware of kindnesses proffered. That’s the thing about inferior functions – we are acutely aware of them but unable to embody them.
ESTJs are a pretty hands off affair. In public rarely will the men show any displays of sentimentality. I think deep in the bedroom they can be rather naughty. But, will you ever hear tales of this? Probaly not. Private, discrete and upstanding people. Nothing should interfere with their public image and reputation as the good father.
What about ESTJ women? Are they fathers too?
Yes, the women do show quite a bit of masculine energy. They’re a pretty butch bunch.
But, I’ll still fuck ‘em.
Or they can fuck me.
Or we could mud wrestle for it.
I laughed out loud reading this in public. Your analysis is always whimsical and refreshingly honest. Perceptive and spot on.
The ENFJ and ENTJ always exuded the Taurus vibe to me. The ESTJ … I have no analogy, no word to describe the energy They exude. For some odd reason they always respond well to me on a personal level. They feel “comfortable” loosening that tie so to speak.
I remember telling an HR director at work that she should have been a judge once (trying to loosen her grip in the room it was oppressive) she smiled and said, “I was actually close to going down that road.”
I cringe just thinking about the ESTJ in my work space (screw anyone in my work space but that’s just the flames of hell engulfing me- mind, body, and soul).
However (!!!) if after I die and am able to come back as any other type it would be as an ESTJ.
I will also take the liberty of using this platform to say that I quit that shit job last week and all those STJs can suck it. I’m so giddy.
Curtsy.
You go, girl!
Now you have analysed my entire family – Father ESTJ, Aries; Mother ENFP, Libra; Big Brother INTJ, Taurus; Me INFJ, Virgo. We live in different universes and I still don’t know what holds us together. Thanks again for your posts. You know I always read them. Bye bye 🙂
Hi you! Very glad to hear from you.
So, what do you think? On point for daddio?
I would imagine that would be a difficult relationship, the one with your father. ESTJ is probaly the type farthest from INFJ. It is like they live in different universes.
I would imagine your brother and you would get along best based on the type and the astrology.
Anyway, nice to hear from you. I would very much like to hear from you more often. Feel free to comment freely as you see fit 🙂
What happens if you throw a ball really hard directly at a brick wall? It comes back instantly, knocking the wind out of you. Throw it at an angle and it bounces harmlessly away. Toss it just right and you can play wall ball.
Missed you, B. Glad to have you back. <3
Aw shucks…thanks. How sweet of you. Love to you as well.
What happened to your site last week? I’m going to send you money.
My site was hacked. I still don’t know much about the details, but, my host (Bluehost) deactivated my account until such time as the malware that had infiltrated Stellar Maze had been cleaned.
And it did cost a pretty penny to have that service professionally done, so, yes, any donations would be appreciated. That’s always true.
Also, if anyone is concerned about credit card data being compromised, Stellar Maze does not store credit card data nor have any access to it whatsoever. All donations or payment for consultations occur on Paypal’s site. I do not know anyone’s credit card number. Paypal would have to be hacked to get that information and that would be extremely difficult to do.
I am basically in a stage of assessing how this hack occurred and how to prevent this from ever happening again. My site was down for about a week because of this and I have been none too happy about it, or the cost incurred to deal with the cleanup job.
But, I’m back. I’m not happy with my current host because of the way they handled this situation and will be looking for other options going forward.
So, that’s a bit of that.
Donated, keep up the good work Blake! ^_^ write some articles on the fascinating extraverted intuition, pretty please? I’m dying to hear what’s in your head!
Thank you for donating. You are keeping the site alive and flourishing. I will write more about extraverted intuition. I promise.
“You might be surprised. ESTJs can be some awfully sexually perverse creatures deep inside. ”
A couple of paragraphs in to this I was thinking “Hmmm…. this actually sounds kind of reassuring and appealing, if you’re a crazy neurotic person” and by the end I felt that a an ESTJ sounded, uh, like a fine sexually-dominant partner for a tense person whose tension can be relieved or circumvented through submission. Is there any connection between types and tendencies toward sexual dominance or submission? I was reading a thing by an INFJ woman, describing her tendency to sort of go into lockdown during sex, like it’s all so great! and then something happens and suddenly you’re not in it anymore, you’re worrying about if the other person is having a good time, you don’t want to be doing what you’re doing (trying to guess at what they want/how they want you to react, and then do that, like you’re playing a really bad videogame) but you’re unable to stop. I don’t think she made this connection, but it made me wonder if certain types are more prone to codified sexual dynamics than others.
I think ESTJs are soft dominant types. INFJs are hard submissive types. Sexually speaking.
For a comparison, ENTJs are hard dominant types. ISFJs are soft submissive types.
What would you say the other sexual types are for the other personalities?
What do you mean by ‘hard’ and ‘soft’
I think an Isfp would be a wonderful partner
What I mean by “hard” and “soft” is kinda like the difference between “intense” and “mellow” or “high strung” and “low-key” or…
basically, to use ESTJ and ENTJ as an example, both are dominant types, but ESTJ is kind of laid-back and mellow about it and ENTJ is upfront, outfront, and insistent on it.
OK, now onto the submissives I mentioned. ISFJ is a soft submissive, meaning they are willing to be gently taken by force, and are gently responsive to force, kind of like the force an ESTJ might assert in their “papa mode.”
INFJ is a hard submissive, meaning they are willing to be taken by a more extreme force and ravished and taken completely over by someone who knows how to do that, like, say, an ENTJ does. INFJ’s sexual nature is generally turned on by brutes. They might not want to admit this, but, it is often an unconscious inclination and receptivity. I think many INFJ men want to be dominated by a strong and confident women, possibly of an executive nature.
Brief stream of consciousness rundown of the sexual types for the other personalities:
ISFP – hard submissive
INFP – soft submissive
ENFJ – velvet dominance (like iron fist in a velvet glove), but still pretty goddamn dominant.
ENFP – easy-going and amenable
ESFP – anything goes. Any position, style, whatever, dominant, submissive. Very sexually flexible and chameleon-like.
ESTP – Vanilla sex with an implied dominance. Soft-core porn. Airbrushed centerfold.
ISTP – I think they are gentle lovers.
ESFJ – Perverted pigs that will do all and everything you ever wanted. And will have it done to them as well.
ENTP – cartoon dominant
INTP – Asexual…no, just kidding. Um, they could be suprisingly intense behind closed doors, some intense fantasies…um, in short, I don’t know. I have never had sex with an INTP nor have I ever had an inclination to. But, the few reports I’ve heard say that you might be
surprised at what is going on behind those impassive facades. I could believe that.
ISTJ – Well, if you have a librarian fantasy…or you get turned on by being told that everything your doing is wrong, then you might want to check out this bowl of laughs. I actually really wonder what they are like sexually. I of course have no idea as I try very hard to pretend that ISTJs don’t exist, much less having any carnal knowledge of them whatsoever. In short, who cares. Maybe it is like having sex with a computer or a calculator. Put out. Output. Input. Who knows.
INTJ – If you have ever been turned on by the Queen of Swords tarot card in the Aleister Crowley deck, then, you are going to be loving this little executioner. However, they can also be some of the most frigid and sexually uptight people around. Maybe some of them would make good dominants. I don’t think they are particularly submissive. Unless some sexual beast of an ENFJ is around. And then they turn to putty.
Well, that’s my stupid take on that.
@Blake
Could you briefly explain what “soft dominant,” “hard submissive,” “hard dominant,” and “soft submissive” mean? I tried Googling it, but it turned up a less than academic result than what I was hoping to find.
Yeah, there could be a reason for that…I just came up with those terms on the spot. I explained it in a more recent comment to Tiffy Pop. Check there.
whoa whoa whoa. I’m lost again. Me = INTJ (Supposedly). I am a submissive. Although I like to test out the strengths of others, I like for someone else to take control. It’s like I’m a wild mustang that has to be tamed. Maybe this is because there are other factors at play here? i.e. I’m female (don’t throw things at me feminists) and a Scorpio.
I used to know an INFJ who was a natural dominant. Like you said, they might not know they’re submissive, and that may be the case, but this INFJ was a natural in the saddle. (Pun very much intended). Again, maybe there are other things at play here i.e. he is a male and also a Scorpio.
But that’s the fun thing about sex I guess. You never know what you’re gonna get or start/trigger.
I witnessed sexual hypocrisy amongst the Estj woman I knew. She called other women trampy, low-hanging fruit, encouraged them to be celibate, and lectured women on to handle themselves with self-respect-WHILE she was cheating on her husband. She also told me that she slept around in college, including married men.
It just baffled me as to why she was so quick to shame other women for expressing their sexuality. It was as if she had a “It’s okay for me, but not for you” attitude.
Such mixed messages about sex drive me batty, and she was good at that.
I trust in you with this one and will talk here in the open as briefly as I can about the relationship with my father, since you asked so nicely :p
There is a lot to say (for I remember everything) and I am unfortunately sleepy (as usual). I also cannot get into a lot of details…
So. When I think about the relationship with my father I see 3 stages: childhood; adolescence; the last 2-3 years maybe.
During childhood, my father was EVERYTHING to me. Perfection on earth. God himself. You name it. I adored him. In my mind he was not only always right, he was righteousness itself. My tower. My guide. I could have written Psalms about him, although I didn’t have these concepts then. Didn’t need to. I had father. (I feel like I have entered already the chameleon mode and I am copying your style? Sorry. Can’t help it)
Then, during adolescence, the fights between him and mum didn’t stop and actually got new dimensions in my head because I began to understand that he was ultimately the reason why my mother started drinking in the first place.
So, here is where your article gets validated:
1. Never in my life had I seen him kissing my mother. Or cuddling. Telling her, my brother or me “I love you”. (It doesn’t mean that this isn’t so, it’s just that he keeps this to himself. I guess he really enjoys birthdays and departures because then he gets the chance to hug and kiss us briefly). We never hear a “job well done” – nope. There is always better!
2. He really is a provider – financial security comes first. He never got a credit or something like that from the bank. We always had what we needed, materially speaking. He gives thoughtful, useful presents. In matters of aesthetics, he doesn’t have good taste though – he just goes for the expensive stuff.
3. He has to be unimpeachable in the eyes of society – his family, the church members, his work colleagues, authorities. He has a way of convincing everybody that he is this perfect, reliable, dutiful saint that is come to help us poor mortals. He is quite popular and some sort of leader among his acquaintances and I am not denying that this is not so, nor his accomplishments (he really is smart, altruistic and can definitely get a job done when he wants to – problem is I believe he kind of hates my mother and blames her for ruining his life, so he is been playing for decades this passive-aggressive game in which he never finishes the works on our house just to teach her a lesson. It’s been 13 years since we are “under construction.” He finished my room only after I left for college).
4. He is a suck-up to those in any kind of power and he genuinely likes it
5. He never took a real risk
6. He wants to be the best and will take the long and safe route to get there, no matter the cost
7. He likes sweets and animals – see Santa Claus. He can be goofy and funny on occasion. He always is in a good mood in public. At home he is mostly dull and preoccupied on a regular basis. A workaholic.
8. He has a temper. At times he can get violent and stupid with rage (again, only against my mother). Then he regrets it. He has this image of himself as being pure in motifs and angelic and he really is suffering when he falls short of his own expectations. He genuinely is a good man.
I have always been the apple of his eye, so, to be honest, this is why our relationship wasn’t exactly difficult, because we know how to build up each other. He always went easy on me. So easy that sometimes it made me think that I was merely allowed to grow like a weed in his otherwise over-toiled garden.
Lately I have been trying to teach him a new approach on life and how we are supposed to live it together as a FAMILY, not only the 2 of us – I had to be through with the black shoe that would not any more do 😀 So, yeah, he is slowly learning to manifest his emotions, to loosen up a bit, to enjoy the things he likes without planning the next chore on his to do list. He realizes that there is more to life than check-lists and pleasing the public opinion.
He is my father and I love him very much. I have forgotten how much I love him and how many things I owe him. And things in my family are better than ever, thanks for asking.
But about my INTJ bro and ENFP mum with a different occasion. Thanks for the reply and the invitation. Hope I am not revealing again too much…
Bye bye 😉
Missed you, man. Good to see you back on the grid.
Thanks, I appreciate that.
Well, now that you’ve displayed both my parents in a sexually-driven way (ENFJ mom and ESTJ dad), I’d like to point out (in addition to the other fellow INFJ with an ESTJ dad) that my relationship with him is very chameleon-like. I’ve learned in a very young age to display the qualities appreciated by my parents (kind of a sexy, artsy, sensible and mystical guru with my mom and a reliable, smart and bold student with my dad), but I’m quite sure that my dad doesn’t know anything about my real interests and my real perspective about life. We’re always discussing politics, market, economics or college-related issues, and he really thinks I’m into that stuff, but the truth is that I don’t give a fuck about money, power or traditional power structures (monogamic family, government, church, college, etc). In fact, I intend to live in some kind of alternative community (probably a tantric ashram), but I really don’t see how am I going to tell him this since I’m positively sure that he is unaware of my radical approach towards life. Everytime I talk to him, I feel like I’m kind of an unexpected bomb which will cause ultimate destruction and sadness. I think my mom will suffer a lot as well with my life decisions, but at least she knows me deeply, and trusts and loves me to do whatever I feel like doing.
I definetely like his Ne (or the Ne of any ESTJ), but I just can’t stand Te + Si and inferior Fi. It drives me mad, really mad. When we argue, we can get really pissed with each other, so my approach with him is sort of a disconnected and unsincere relationship; it’s not really difficult for me to put a mask and pretend to be following his plans or expectatives. Yes, I know this is unhealthy and unstable (eventually I’m gonna have to tell him who I am), but I decided to keep things cool until my life altering decisions come.
Keep the love, Blake
Your description of ENTJs as “hard dominant” led me around your writings on them here. In comments somewhere you mentioned that ENTJs and INFJs tend to adopt a parent/child relationship – the ENTJ thinks of the INFJ as lesser-than, etc, and how that works depends on how the INFJ feels about being in the one-down position. I don’t really have a capsule opinion at the end of my reading or anything, I just found that interesting, as someone who thinks she is probably an INFJ, and who has complicated relationships with male authority figures. On the one hand, so sexy! So powerful! I want to bask and serve! On the other hand, “don’t tell me what to do” feelings are powerful in me, and of course the curse of someone who is bright and cutting and has the urge to serve is that you often see, sometimes even accurately, all the ways in which an authority is weak and wrong, and then how can they be a respected authority?
Are INFJs just doomed in this way? Probably!
My mother is an ESTJ… it was hilarious because I was talking to her a few days after I had seen this and she was saying how someone was describing her as a wall. Though of course that was positive as in she was protective. I’ve never really seen her as a wall though. Maybe it’s because males are mostly portrayed as this personality and I’d imagine develop a more stand offish nature, like a wall, than females. I found her more suffocating, maybe like multiple walls forming a cell, eh though it never felt that solid. More like a maze plenty of paths to walk down and ways to go, as long as you learnt how to navigate it well.
I was home schooled through high school so I spent a lot of time with her. We didn’t exactly have a great relationship, mostly cause of her complete disconnect with my Fe. However I respected her Te to the point where I am quite comfortable in my job as an administration assistant. I mean I’m using Fe as a mimic so it’s not perfect, but it’s passable. We have a great relationship now I’m 18 since she’s learnt to treat me as an adult. That was really the turning point in our relationship, as equals we are completely fine. Of course a big help has been her interest in personal growth… have you seen a Te dominant trying to improve themselves… honestly the poor things human nature is a bit more complicated. She’s done a pretty good job as well it’s not really fair to compare her to an INFJ(me).
(Excuse the grammatical errors I’m too lazy to edit it)
Reading through the description, I thought of this website http://www.flamewarriorsguide.com/
More like the compressed ? stereotypically comedic version of types
Thank you for writing the article on ESTJ’s. I’m glad you are back!!! I had asked about ESTJ because I suspect my big boss is one. The funny thing is- I’ve seen her MBTI results and I still don’t know what the skank is. But ESTJ sounds the closest… her results have her on the line of E/I and N/S and after consultation she decided she was INTJ- which is wrong. Just wrong. These leads me to a bigger question- do Ni users sense other Ni users? When I list the people I truly connect with it is all Ni users. ENFJ, INTJ (who I thought was a friend but has been backstabbing me for years- very sad about this) and of course, ENTJ. Usually I can tell in minutes if I am in the presence of another Ni type~ just have that “feeling”…. Crazy?
I can’t speak for every Ni user, but this Ni user has come to observe the following in himself:
– Difficulty identifying other INTJ’s (but getting better at it). I chalk this up either to 1) a lack of perspective, and thus not recognizing myself in others like me, or 2) there’s just not that many for me to observe in real life.
– Really drawn to ENTJ’s. (I’ve learned to immediately check this initial attraction, and start looking for whatever secret shady dealing they’ve got going on behind the scenes.)
– Immediately offput by ENFJ’s. There is just a . . . ravenous quality to a set of eyes driven by the emptiness and starvation of Fe informed by the cleverness of Ni
– Depending on the INFJ and how taken they are by their Fe . . . either my eyes roll so hard I’m looking at my brain, or they seem like a breath of fresh air for 21st century America. I really find it all comes down, again, to how hard their Fe is out trying to feed on others.
I have a new college professor, who I strongly suspect is an ESTJ in unconvincing ENTP clothing. This is both puzzling and perplexing for me, an INFJ and I’m thinking of giving him another two weeks befor I speak to someone about my concerns. Why the concerns? Well the modules he’s teaching on our Philosophy and Religion course are ones that he is meant to be confident in, Philosphy of Religion, Faith and Reason, but he’s already displaying a lack of true interest in his subject. He’s even questioned why he bothered doing a PhD in the subject. The evidence for my belief that he’s ESTJ? Some of it’s to do with his attempts to dress the part. He has the short back and sides, long on top hair style ( always sweeping back his hair). He wears a tweed jacket , which is suspiciously new looking. The brown leather shoes are a token gesture since their quality is poor, like he bought them from a supermarket. Out of college he wears sporty outdoor gear, which he looks more comfortable in.
He comes across as being ‘other’; nobody in his classes will remind him of himself at their age. He is an unspiritual person, who has openly stated he knows nothing of western philosophy or religion since ‘ he wasn’t taught it’. In his undergraduate years he was captain of his college fencing team. His first degree was in theology at a good university. Is he one of those people that takes any course just to have the college name on their CV? Maybe he got on the course through clearing.
He says he has no truck with continental philosophy and it’s Anglo American analytical for him. That’s fine, but beyond his love for competitive debating ( he one a competition in speed debating) , I see no depth and no sign of the light hearted joy that an ENTP would exude, let alone the breadth or delight in knowledge. I know I’ve been wittering on here, but what bothers me is that he is incompatible with the vast majority of students on the course.
He admits he’s been hired to add a rational flavour to the department, but I would prefer the real deal and not a fake. I suspect that any true rational worth their salt would not be tempted to take up a job in a country university, some distance from any major city. I predict he will feel lonely and that he’ll be questioning his choices. I see him as an army captain, lawyer or history/law professor. I feel he was in an INFP shadow state which has led him astray from his true path. Having been led astray myself in youth, I know how stressful and confusing this can be. Any suggestions?
How the fuck did I get involved in all this? Yee lords!
Lmao, Blake!
Don’t want to pull you back into the ESTJ bullshit, but I have to mention something!
Spot on.
I was with an ESTJ chick for a while, and yes she could get dirty in bed. Of course this could only happen if I turned her on by an extensive list of foreplay chores that included taking out the garbage, washing the dishes, and mopping the floor. Once I did that, no stopping her.
Other than that she was a brick wall. She wouldn’t rape me either, so. Whatever.
You’re also right that the unhealthier she got into her Se, the more fun she was overall.
She also realized she was a shoo-in for eternal relaxation in heaven because she had a credit score of 770.
Oh gosh, the female Estj I knew was a character. She probably thought that I was a ball of emotions and confusion too (I am an infj).
You stated that estj females are a ball of masculine energy. Yes, this one was. But, she enjoyed referring to herself a as feminine alpha female and wanted by all men. What I found interesting was that she didn’t have any insight as to how her blunt comments would make others feel. She even told me that feelings and being emotional were foreign to her. She viewed the female gender as being needy and clingy, and saw men as strong and independent.
There are a lot of things that I could go on about, but my infj self will refrain. We are just different personalities with different stengths.
Hey Blake, I am a consumate INFJ suddenly surrounded by ESTJs! What should I do? They freak me out!
You could consult with me if you want some advice. I’d have to hear more about your situation.
If I was just gonna be funny about it, I would say make like a brick wall and fall down. I don’t know. INFJs and ESTJs have poor relations that are nearly impossible to mend.
For starters, I would have to know your position in relation to the ESTJ(s). What is the general environment that you find yourself in with them? Etc. I can’t address it in a comment.
I freak them out to, but do not care.
It is really not serious. I am learning to deal with them which mostly involves being politely firm with them. I find it fascinating because we are so different. I had not worked with them so closely, but their understanding does not seem to go beyond the concrete. They seem to have black and white opinions with few shades of gray combined with a severe lack of creativity. All this and an absolute surity that they are right about everything! The poor dears! I really feel sorry for them trapped in their tiny little worlds.
Love your writing!
There’s a typo… “Their almost like regular comics in that mode. And they never stop talking.” It should be they’re, not their.
I bet you couldn’t guess that I’m an ISTJ, could you!
So sarcastic and hilarious:)” How do brick walls do this?” Lol…….
I saw an ESTJ video online. This girl said everyone is so mean to ESTJs. Hopefully ESTJs understand that their capabilities are real and not everyone cannot do what they can, because since that is what they value that should leave their self esteem intact.
“If I was just gonna be funny about it, I would say make like a brick wall and fall down.”
LOL-ing over here. LOL-ing.
“ESTJs live for special occasions (as long as they are official holidays marked on the calendar).”
LOL this is killing me. This description btw is exactly how I see ESTJs:) including their fun side.
No. Just no. I’m no butch. And the truth is…I tell things the way they are without embarrassing anyone or getting them angry.
I’m a total neat freak and a nazi about procrastination and organization.
I consider those good qualities
There’s NO WAY anyone needs to know what I do in the bedroom. That’s not their business. Plus I rather be known for my work ethic than something crass.