Is that an ENTP crawling in your bathroom window? Not likely, as they have no ninja powers and don’t know the meaning of sneaking up on their assailant. That is, unless you have included in your definition of ninja, that a bunch of pots and pans will go clattering to the floor very loudly and resoundingly, as this non-darkly clad assassin is on their way to slitting your throat.
ENTPs are berserkers. A pure extraverted intuitive ENTP is like a clittering, clattering, jangling, and upsetting abruption of noise and racket. However, they will never be hit with the bullet because they are way too lucky. They are protected by ten angels at all times. They will never get hurt and they don’t even really exist here anyway. You are really seeing a hologram beamed down from above. They are always banging into things and causing a ruckus. Clowns make ENTPs look normal. Have a visit to the circus sometime to remember the natural environs of where the ENTP belongs.
In the times of kings, they would laugh in the king’s face and tell him he needed to shave that crusty and arrogant beard. The king would get a razor and cut off the head of the person standing nearest to the ENTP and then bow low before the ENTP for their ungodly consideration in looking out for the king’s blasted hygiene. To this the ENTP would suggest that the king’s eyebrows are looking a little bushy so why not lop them off too. Maybe they could glue them to the thin eyebrows of the severed head laying at the ENTPs feet, which the ENTP is now using as a way to make himself look a bit taller. The king laughs heartily and says, “Yeah, that’s not a bad idea. Where do you get all these wonderful ideas?” The ENTP points down at his footrest and says, “Not out of his head, I’ll tell you that.”
You see, ENTPs don’t have to be ninjas because they can just come out and say what they want without fear of repercussion. They could be kings themselves but they are more like pirates, commandos or imaginary operatives in their own imaginary war that they wage like a child.
They are too much of the holy fool to be a stable king. But they can be a King a Ding Ding and that is what they call the king sometimes when he is feeling blue. “Why so serious? The worst you can do is drive the whole kingdom into oblivion. All kingdoms end eventually? Why prolong it? Let’s have a little fun on the way.”
ENTP kingdoms will always prosper because of the “ten angels at all times” thing. You can’t really go too far wrong with that kind of protection. ENTPs can get away with anything. They sold their mothers a long time ago back in the wooly membranes of childhood. Some of them sold her as soon as they were sure that they were officially out of her womb and breathing of their own accord. Of what use of they for mothers? ENTPs don’t need anyone except ten golden maids a day to pick up after their ungodly clutter and clatter. They are like the leader of a demented marching band. That is about as much as they taste of war, banging the drum and making a loud racket. Never do the bullets touch them. Never the enmity.
It might seem upon superficial observation that ENTPs are nasty bastards but that would be very introverted feeling of you. You see, ENTPs don’t know a damn thing about the poor and suffering introverted feeling type woes. They will help anyone in visible distress unless it is their mother or something like that. Just let it be a stranger in distress and they will be there like a white knight daydream. And then they will be off again as quick as you can say merry prankster. They don their hankies for oysters.
ENTPs can be very old world sometimes coming off as conservative and established members of society. But, that is just another superficial garb for them to wear while they are taking this life off from being court jesters.
ENTP Function Analysis:
E is for extraversion. They are in your face, in your space, talking all the time, about everything under the sun. They know what is going on everywhere but in their immediate environment.
N is for Intuition. ENTPs are space cadets. That term was coined after one of their members I’m sure. While they are extraverts they often have no idea of the particularity of things, such as where there shoes are, or where there shirt is, or where anything that belongs on their body is. They know where all their ideas are but unfortunately they can’t wear them for clothes. They are extraverts but are oblivious to the outer environment as regards what currently exists in it. Like all the objects that exist in physical space. They don’t know anything about that. As far as they are concerned there are a bunch of things out there that seem to be covering up the pure and virgin space around them. How annoying. Now, this whole scenario will change as soon as you switch over to the wavelength of what could be there in that space. Then all of a sudden they will see the objects that are there and then quickly come up with completely new objects that could be inhabiting that very space. In that five second window, you can get them to recognize that they are staring right at their shoes that they need to put on immediately so we can finally leave the house.
T is for thinking. Despite the ENTP clumsiness with navigating and even recognizing things in the current space-time environment, they use the thinking function to question why things couldn’t be some completely different way than they are. This often leads to invention but it can also lead to simple commentary that is always very logical and on point and hard to rebut by anyone except the smartest people around, which would be other ENTPs. They use thinking to escape every possible crushing danger they bring upon themselves by their complete disregard for physical existence. There are immense stores of knowledge in every ENTP about the most seemingly random subjects and topics, but they all have a place to the ENTP. That place would be under the bed with all the other objects of their room that didn’t get put away. This is called storage.
F is for Feeling (There is an F in ENTP, but it is silent, unlike them). Prepare yourself for Extraverted Feeling ala ENTP-style. It is a doozy. Very animated and expressive they are in a flurry of their extraverted intuitive ideas and mouth-dropping fluidity in expressing them. While they are telling you about life, the universe, and everything, in no particular order, ENTPs will be very engaging and entertaining. They will use simple and colorful terms to describe very complex and tangled phenomena. It is kind of like getting a sales pitch from a scientist to sell you science. And they do. They make science fun and exciting. They are like party-animal scientists.
One time I did some coke with an ENTP gay man who was a physicist/art dealer (typical profession for them). While we were hanging out in a dark park after hours and in between the moments where he was hitting on me, he was giving this wonderful and expansive explanation of physics. To me is seemed like the most normal thing in the world. I was thinking if you are going to do coke and be hit on by a member of your own sex, this is the exact type of talk that should go along with it. I actually considered being gay for a spell. Oh, those ENTPs, they can sell you on anything.
P is for perception. Yes, ENTPs can perceive anything, unless it possesses material existence. This is like their kryptonite. Other than that they are like supermen. Or women.
Speaking of the women. They are hot. I don’t think I have ever met an unattractive ENTP women. They have cat’s eyes that are very unmistakable and striking. And they are cute because they are not like ESTP women who know how hot they are and make you aware of it every five seconds.
ENTP women are pretty clueless about how hot they are. Again, it’s the whole material existence thing. Their bodies possess material existence, therefore they can’t perceive how hot they are. They are always slightly goofy or quirky that modifies this impression to endearingly hot. ENTP women have a sixth sense about sexual predators though. Despite their obliviousness, they are still extraverts and very aware of other people’s energies in the environment. They can sense ill-intent quickly. As soon as their alarm is tripped, like a swarm of locusts, their angels swoop in and ferry them away to safety.
What a fantastic description of the ENTP type. I feel like I already know them so well!!
Yes, I’m sure you know a few King a Ding Dings. They are the bright and fun ones. Think Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy. Like making a comedy out of science.
This is the first description of an ENTP that makes sense to me as an ENTP! Especially, um, everything!
Ha!
& I meant to include that being an ENTP is a lot like being the love child of a pragmatic unicorn and a swashbuckler.
Yes, ENTPs are like pragmatic unicorns. Probaly comes from their mother’s side. And despite the seeming obliviousness of ENTPs, it is remarkable how they can instantly bring all these disparate things together in a flash when they need to. ENTPs are very surprising that way. Just when you wrote them off as hopeless space cadets, they will say or do something that proves to you that they have been paying attention in some roundabout way the whole time. Also, ENTPs are not at all oblivious to money. They like it, are motivated by it, and want lots of it.
You are delightfully hilarious. I just took the Myers-Briggs test and scored ENTP, so naturally, I had to google “female ENTP,” and this came up. I am pretty skeptical about generalities and classifications of people and personalities, and with that in mind, I still found your description uncannily accurate and very humorous. I would love to chat with you sometime over email to hear some more of your ideas. My email address is gibbsfreeenergy@inbox.com
Alright, maybe I’ll ring you up some time.
You’re in a dead end on the title.
We manage ourselves in all environments because, when pressed to, we revise ourselves like ‘red mage’ does in 8 bit theater
(despite the but of the joke is that he, and the whole hero crew are loser depictions of themselves and he is unable to ultimately change himself to answer his problems)
, and especially so when as competent as someone like Ben. Franklin who focused on productivity in a way that kept our weakness of starting ten more projects before finishing one at bay.
From my experience, I am on of the best at temporary espionage, when motivated.
Okay, I am now considering changing the title to:
ENTP: Best at Temporary Espionage, When Motivated
spot on. amazingly correct. one thing, though – about the whole mother thing (I literary sold my mother for a bar of chocolate at the age of 3): I think ENTPs get their attachment to things, places & maybe even people through Si. for me, this nostalgic-associative feeling functions as a very strong reminder from where i come from and what is my duty towards my primary enviroment (family, hometown etc.) … but needless to say, i carry it out through these sporadic white-knight incursions 🙂
Sporadic white knight incursions. Nicely put.
Selling your mother for a bar of chocolate at age three? You see what happens when moms don’t let their little babies eat chocolate. They get sold. Who is really to blame?
Moms need to start recognizing the simple laws of cause and effect.
Fe mother found the whole thing more amusing than distressing 🙂
btw: great intuition about the circumstances of / reasons behind the event! N-dominant? ENFP? … INTJ with a sense of self-irony? (they make those, I’ve seen them!)
This is one of my favorite posts that you wrote. I love the imagery and the examples that you used lol. Also, the pic of the pretty girl didn’t hurt.
Yeah, its one of my favorite posts too. The pretty girl is Megan Fox. Yeah, she’s pretty fucking hot.
I know who she is silly. I like action movies ^_^. I’m more of a wolverine fan, mid thirties and muscular, whatever floats your boat. It’s one of your favorites too? ^_^
You’re hilarious. I think this write-up is accurate in a way that I didn’t expect. In my life I’ve seriously considered both joining the freak show in Coney Island and becoming a physicist & working at CERN. To tie it in with astrology, this guy Matt Savinar likened my astrological combination to Doc Brown from Back to the Future. A character who sounds a lot like your description of ENTP. It all comes full circle, whaddayaknow!
For reference: http://hexagoninfulleffect.com/2013/05/21/cancer-sun-aquarius-moon-your-eccentric-uncle-and-your-oddball-aunt-their-high-tech-inventions-and-their-totally-visionary-non-profit-roads-where-were-going-we-dont-need-roads/
Thanks for the laugh.
You need to do an article on how to seduce an ENTP….. or more how to trap them and keep them cause as an INFJ I already have one. We were going out then we broke up and now we are best friends(for 2 years) with benefits and practically together(he like lives partially at my house) but my little ENTP pet doesn’t like commitment. This is why I find the combination of Ne and Si annoying at times, wanting to keep possibilities open and well as not being able to let go of the past, well not like an INFJ can anyway. So the question it how do I get my ENTP to commit because I know he can.
You can get an ENTP to commit by letting them go. Giving them a lot of space and freedom. Certainly, the opposite action would prove to be folly.
Use your Fe a lot, which an INFJ should anyway. That will draw him to you. I said Fe, not Fi. Fi is pretty much the exact way an INFJ would alienate an ENTP, and probaly be alienated themselves. Fi is in the nature of an id function for an INFJ, which means they have it very strong and deep and it arises all the time in intimate relationships as a deep longing for bondage and sacrifice for an INFJ.
ENTPs would be the type to be most oblivious to that, and this is a good thing for the INFJ. ENTPs tend to engage the best qualities of an INFJ, and vice-versa.
“Hot” ENTP woman here. 😉 Thanks for the sweet article. Yup, I agree, I really do have no idea why there are so many guys attracted to me. I can only guess about my own physical attractiveness by what they say. They say they like how open, blunt, and confident I am, and people always laugh to the jokes that I throw out once in a while – so I guess that’s quite an attraction point, too. Many also say that I am nice and pretty but gosh do I hate it when they make me this nice and soft, feminine girl! (Influence from my Mom who hates it anyone uses “harsh” language, most surely including sh** or fu**.) I realized that I usually attract feeling types but I like thinking types more because the former can be so intense with their emotions sometimes! No, almost ALL the time. E.g. ISF/INFx who want me to know that they are the only ones who really care about me…. (seriously?) I just don’t know what to do sometimes, when they get all emotional.
Uurgh this comment is not logically ordered and there are words missing to connect the sentences. I wish I could edit it. Just read between the lines, please.
just a quick white knight swoop in 11 months later to let you know, Abby, that I read between the lines and connected all the sentences no problemo. Maybe someone will do this for me some day one one of my uneditable comments. /swoop
I’ve seen two main types of ENTPs. One like you so hilariously described (blabs and blabs and blabs) and a much quieter type that still shares some of the Fe charm: tilts to the side of the head, whimsical look with the eyes, good looking, the usual clutter chain, seems to listen better even if seeming bemused or distracted etc.
You’re so funny.
Oh and the ones that listen can kind of seem like pretty empathic. They give off a vibe like that.
Since you hardly post about intp’s I look to the entp posts as the most relatable. Although I wish I was as charming/ funny as them lol. They don’t possess our ti heaviness that lock us down a lot of the time.
Fuck, I know. I feel bad. More INTP posts prontissimo! *He said to himself*
Look forward. Intps are amazing!
Hullo!
I am an ENTP 7 raised by an ENTJ 8. Yes, it was (and continues to be, much of the time) horrible for both of us. I got suspended for two weeks in the 4th grade for writing in a “What I Want To Be When I Grow Up” essay that I wanted to be an assassin. 10 pages. However, I also won the science fair that year detailing all the illicit drugs on the market, cost, where to buy and the damage done to each organ system. This was in 1981, card catalog time. Represent! I’m now an ER RN after becoming bored with decade in Marketing. So I totally get the rad science, ‘can sell coal to the devil’ thing. And loopholes. ENTP’s are aaaaaaall about the loopholes. As an (additional) aside, the best complement I’ve ever received, ‘You just told that person to go fuck themselves and they thanked you for it!’. I’m sure all ENTP’s have a similar story to share 😉
But now, as an adult, I experience the overwhelming urge to stab and mangle perpetrators of injustice and mine enemies (of which I have zero as I’m so damned friendly and personable), which underlies my natural affinity to create (and organize to the Nth degree) entire programs and systems to help everyone become their very best awesome selves; while I get PAID and have a super fun time doing it, natch.
So my question is: Is this desire to dump assholes and passive aggressive weenies into a lye pit, nature or nurture? Awaiting your answer with bated breath…
PS: People tell me the craziest shit. Like everyone. I call it the Dawn Trap. You’re in my vicinity, before you know it, you’re veering toward me telling me where the bodies are. I nod and smile. Second question: Is this all part and parcel of the complete and utter ENTP non-judgement thing?
Oh yes, and I break shit. Like everything. I can’t even wear jewelry that’s not made of rocks and steel. Sigh.
You’re awesome!
Does that answer your question?
LOL! This thread just gave me so much life XD
Nature and nurture..
Your tertiary receptacle and the rest of your awesomeness..
PS : not all ENTPs are non-judgemental (nature and nurture).. I’m so jealous of all of you though 😛
Hi Dawn, your comments remind me so much of my partner, who is also an ENTP type 7.
I’d say that healthy ENTPs are generally non-judgemental types, but your assertive communication style can sometimes give the wrong impression to others.
I fall into this trap with my ENTP on a regular basis, because his forthright comments sound to my INFJ brain like final decisions or directions to do something. What he’s actually doing, of course is using Ne to verbally sound out his perceptions and explore different options, and he’s expecting me to join in the conversation and bounce ideas around ‘cos that’s what Ne does.
So when I instead start taking action (based on what I think are firm decisions), much hilarity ensues……
“Is this desire to dump assholes and passive aggressive weenies into a lye pit, nature or nurture?”
Nature, IMHO. I’m just glad there are no lye pits nearby during our little communication hiccups….
“I got suspended for two weeks in the 4th grade for writing in a “What I Want To Be When I Grow Up” essay that I wanted to be an assassin. 10 pages. However, I also won the science fair that year detailing all the illicit drugs on the market, cost, where to buy and the damage done to each organ system.”
And this is why I want to reincarnate as an ENTP in the next lifetime 🙂
My INTJ dad always describes me like this:
“The only person in the universe that I am afraid of!”
I know why, because I read him “very accurately” (including his bullshits when he is talking like a professor in a group of people). Once he was giving a speech at the dinner table with many guests and I was like 15; while he was talking I yelled “Liar!” and burst in laughter and ran away!
Oh God I love my dad so much. INTJs are really awesome once you figure them out.
Entp here! What a fantastic description
Especially (the spelling is wrong isn’t it? I’ll never learn this word the my Estp hotness part😂😂😂
I laughed a lot
But i do undrestand introverted feelings :<
I suppose I’m going to be the lone dissenting voice here. Yes, this was pretty funny, but it was also pretty offensive and seemed to have some blatant hostility…
I’m an ENTP but technically my fellow ENTPs think I’m some kind of abberation so…
How is it amusing to be told you have no morals? No loyalty? That you would sell out
your own Mother if the price was right? Worse yet, people are making jokes out of it…
I don’t get it…How is this type description supposed to be a compliment? You basically compared us to sociopaths and somehow I’m supposed to find that accurate?
If other ENTPs consider being called selfish, immoral, callous, and lacking human decency a compliment, I guess I’d rather be an abberation then…
You seem more like a feeling type, just from reading what you wrote here.
ENTP woman here, enneagram 8w7, raised by an ENTJ 8 father and an INTJ mother. Dad was a career soldier, Mom runs several businesses. I was in the army as a young adult. As a result of my parents and my time in the army, I can behave like an ENTJ. When I did the MBTI assessment, I scored 50% ENTP and 50% ENTJ. I was confused and the psychologist told me my default is ENTP, but nurture also had a huge influence. I’m the kind of woman you don’t fuck with. 😂 I will either dress you down or make you look ridiculous, depending on which mode I’m in. That being said, I decided to become a stripper after I left active duty to see what the fuss was all about and called my dad to tell him. He blew a gasket. I laughed and told him how much money I was making. He bought me a Bowie knife and told me to keep it strapped in my thigh high boot. I ended up running the private club where I was working before I got tired of it and fucked off to Japan and then ravelled for years. Anyway, I’ve got plenty of colourful stories. Just wanted to say your writing about ENTPs is fantastic.